Hope, Dreams and Miracles
by scarletrose3
Summary: *Ch 23 up and revised ch 1-15*ForS/B lovers,Buffy's pregnant and missing,can they find her? prophecy1- Connor, prophecy2-?Spike/Buffy? and what does it have to do w/Angel? A wedding&the LA gang in Sunnyhell. What can go wrong? Please R+R it's my 1st fic.
1. Calling

**A Buffy / Angel crossover with a Buffy/Spike relationship (Takes place in s/6 Buffy and s/ 3 Angel)**

**Series Summary:  What happen when Buffy finds out about Angel's son?**

**Pairing: Buffy/ Spike with minor Buffy/ Angel flashbacks other pairings to follow.**

**Rating: R****__**

**_Disclaimer: __You know all the characters of BtVS and Angel are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM._**

_Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it._

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles _**

**_Part I – Calling_****__**

**Timeline: in the aftermath of 'Gone', when Buffy in back to normal sort of. **

**Summary: Buffy is tired and not really ready to deal with the bomb that is about to dropped in her feet.**

**Rated: PG- language **

**_"Dawn … Dawn are you here!"_**

_"Dawn, I'm back and even visible in all that ." Buffy yelled as she closed the door .  There was no answer the house was quite. _

_"Dawnie I'm sorry about earlier. I know I kinda freaked you out. Do you forgive me? * Ok, don't talk to me I'm too tired for this and ways.* Buffy bitched to herself as she scanned the fridge for something. As she looked up she saw a note from Dawn:_

_            Dear Buffy, _

_            I went to Janice's for the night .Were_

_            THEY don't mine having me around! _

_See ya tomorrow maybe._

_                                                Dawn_

_"Fine!!" Buffy yelled at the top of her laughs " if you like them better than just move in there !!!_

_"Ahwwwn… to tired to care'" Buffy left the kitchen and started for the stairs. _

_Then she saw the answering machine blinking._

_  "Oh what now. " she mumbled._

_"Buffy, Buffy are you there!" The voice sounded like …like Angel's._

_"Call me when you get this message …it important, Please Call ….Soon." _

_*Angel , No it wasn't Angle . Could it be ?*  she thought as she pushed the play button__again.___

_@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@_

_"Hello Angel Investigations ….."_

_"Cordy? " Buffy asked softly._

_"Buffy, Is that you ?"  Cordy answered ._

_"Yeah, Is everything ok? I mean Angel called me and he sounded kinda different." Buffy asked nervously._

_"Everything's  fine !   Angel just wanted you to hear the good news first!" Cordy happily replied ._

_"What good news? " Buffy ask, but Cordy was too busy yelling to Angel. "Angel…. It's Buffy!"  _

_  A minute later, "Buffy? " Angel answered. _

_"Angel. What …. Why ….I mean you … you  called? "_

_" Buffy, I didn't mean to worry you. I just wanted to tell you the good news . " _

_"What news?" Buffy said calmly. " What Good News ?"_

_After a moment of silence Angel responded  "Buffy… I ..um.. I have a SON. "_

_At the other end of the phone Buffy's mouth just hung open in utter shock. Her mind was racing but she was unable to speak._

_"Buffy are you there? "  _

_"Angel, you have a what?" she asked, still not quite sure she had heard him right. _

_"**I have a son! Him name is Connor."  Angel proudly answered. "And I want you to meet him."**_

_Buffy's mind was still spinning. "When? …. How? …..Who's the mother? "_

_"After your mother died. I  mean after I saw you , I came back and …,I'm not quite sure how it all happened I know that we aren't suppose to have kids but so how … some way …I guess it was the prophecy….and it's Darla." Angel finally taking an unneeded breath. _

_ There was an eerie silence on both ends of the phone._

_Angel finally spoke "Buffy are still there ?"   _

_"Yeah, I'm still here. I'm just confused about … who did you say was… the mother?"   It finally registered what Angel had just said. "Did you say****__ Darla!!!__"  Buffy was really angry , so angry she was glad that he was in L.A. and she was in Sunnydale , well maybe that was still too close . Maybe moving to __Siberia__ would be to close. "Yes, Buffy I said Darla. " Angel said you could hear remorse in his voice. "Please, don't be mad at me . "    _

_  "I can't ….I just Can't …not right now!" Buffy replied sobbing as she hung up the phone. She was still in shock over the whole phone conversation.  Falling to her knees she knelt on the floor and sobbed. _

_******_

_Buffy was still on the floor when __Willow__ arrived home. _

_"Buffy, Dawnie are you here?" __Willow__ called out. Waiting for an answer __Willow__ heard something in the kitchen. As she moved slowly to the kitchen it became more apparent that it was Buffy crying. "Buffy are you ok? What is wrong? Is it Dawn? Are you ok?" __Willow__ just keep babbling on._

_Buffy had almost stopped crying. "No, nothings wrong __Willow__. Dawn's at Janice's house tonight. It's … its Angel. "_

_"Is he all right?" _

_ Holding back the waterfall welling up inside of her. She managed to tell __Willow__ everything, about the phone call….  Connor, Angel and even Darla. _

_Willow__ was now in compete shock too." You mean…Angel and Darla …. Connor is their son" __Willow__ sunk down the side of the cabinet and sat next to Buffy, with Buffy's head on __Willow__'s shoulder. They sat there in silence.  Nether of them, knowing what to say._

_Finally __Willow__ found the courage to speak. "Buffy are you ok? I mean are you ok with all of it?" _

_     "No."  Buffy muttered._

_"You still love him. I mean you wish that it could be you with Angel and that Connor was…. Your son not that bitch Darla's." _

_"No. I just don't want to be all alone. I just don't want to grow old and have no one to share my life, my dreams with."_

_Willow__ put her arms around her best friend and squeeze . "Buffy, you'll never be alone; you have Dawnie, me and the rest of the Scoobies."_

_As Buffy stood up here knees felt like Jell-O****__._

_"I got to ...to go ….kill something." Buffy grumbled as she picked up her jacket and a few stakes from the counter and stormed out. _

_She thought about trying to stop her but thought it best to let her work though this in her own way. __Willow__ sighed._


	2. Dreams

Disclaimer: You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it.  
  
Hope, Dreams and Miracles Series Part II-Dreams  
  
"Just can't get enough, could you pet?" "Spike go a way, far away!" Buffy snapped. "Go away? I live here ." "SO!" Buffy snapped again. "What's you deal Slayer? First you don't want me, Then you do and Now you don't again." Spike yells with hand flailing around. "I just don't get you Slayer!" "You're bloody nuts. You know that, pet? " Buffy burst in to tears. Once again she dropped to her knees, this time right on top of a newly dug grave. "What's wrong, luv" Spike asks in a gentle tone. Forgetting what he was so mad about, he walks over to her and stokes the back of her head. "It's.it's just . just my . my . my life." Buffy mumbles out in between the tears. "What's so wrong with you life? " "What's right with it?" Buffy answered, she had almost stopped crying as she looked up at Spike. Spike looked at her and realized that she had been crying for a while. Her face had lines where her mascara had run down, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. "Luv, what got you so worked up?" Spike questioned moving her head up to his level, as he looked into her eyes he saw all her pain and emotions. "Sorry" was all he could say.  
  
"For what?" Buffy questions as she studies his face trying to find an answer to her own question. " For your pain. Is it Bit? " "No, Dawn is fine. It's Angel." Buffy whispered . "Angel ! What did he do? I swear I'll kill him if he did anything to hurt her. I'll kill him I mean it." "No. He did nothing, but just called. I just can't deal with it. Not right now. Just not now!" Buffy sobbed dropping her head once again. Spike wanted to know more but he could see it was too painful for her to talk about. Spike picked her up; her body was so limp; it was like she was lifeless. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest. ***** Entering the crypt, Spike looked down at the now sleeping Slayer. "Night Pet." He continued down the stairs and laid her gently on his bed. Waiting only a moment to make she was a sleep; he made his way backup the stairs and out to the nearest pay phone. "Hello" "Willow, It's Spike. Buffy's .um ..Buffy's at my crypt .. She's very ..Well, she was very upset, and she fell asleep there." Spike was nerves about her reaction. "Spike. is she .I mean Buffy's ok right?" Willow nervously asked. "Will' she's fine, she's sleeping. When she wakes up, maybe then I can find out what made her so bloody nuts. " "Good, I mean it's good that Buffy's ok. Umm..the reason Buffy was so crazy. it's Angel." "That's the second bloody time tonight I hear Peaches had something to do with this! What in hell did he do to make her so nuts?" That name in the same sentence as HIS slayers made Spike's temper rage. He knew whatever it was it had to be pretty bad for Buffy to get that emotional. "Angel called." "That I already know. Tell me something I don't know, like why she's so upset?" "Connor!" IN one simple word Willow told him everything. "Who's Connor?" "Connor is . is Angel's son." "His what?" Spike was in shock at what willow had just said. Angel can't, no vampire had or could ever have children. It must be a mistake he thought as the words-HIS SON- rang in Spike's ears. "Angel has a son and his name is Connor! He called earlier to tell Buffy the good news. Well, good news but not the best time to tell her. She's been .. She's just been a little." "depressed lately." Spike finished. "Yeah "Willow knew that spike understood what she was trying to say. " Spike take care of her tonight, don't let her." "I won't let her out of my sight. I'll keep her safe and sound. She will be better tomorrow I promise." Spike's voice was soft, loving and caring. He had convinced Willow that Buffy was alright but he hadn't convinced himself. Spike stood out there in the middle of the night, Buffy back lying in his bed. He did the only thing he could do. Picked up the phone once more and dialed. After a few ring a sleepy voice answered the phone "Hello" "Angel, why in god's name did you have to call her?" Spike fumed. "Spike?" Angel questioned with a yawn. "Peaches, why are you do THIS to her?" Spike growled. "Doing what to who?" "Why did you have to call her and.. And tell her that. Now of all times!" "I just wanted to tell her to tell her about Connor. I thought she would be happy for me. I didn't want her to find out from anyone else. That's all. Is she mad at me?" "Oh she's just bloody fine! She's only been crying her eyes out for hours on end. Crying so hard at times she almost hyperventilated, so bloody hard that she fell asleep from pure exhaustion! Ya I say she's just fine!" spike mocked. "Why has she been crying? I thought she'd be happy that's why I called. I didn't think." Angel said softly. "YOU DIDN'T THINK!" Spike snapped. "If you did. You wouldn't have called to gloat about your perfect life with Little Miss Cheerleader, Connor and the Devil's Spawn herself -Darla!" " Woo, hold it right there just a minute! I didn't get to tell Buffy the rest of it. So let me finish Darla is gone." "She just left; I mean she left her son..with you?" "NO , Darla is dead. She staked herself so that Connor could live, so that he could be born." "OH. " was all that Spike could say. " Spike I really need to tell Buffy that. Then maybe she'll understand, maybe she'll be able to come and.meet him. I need to .to know she's ok with this." Angel pleaded with him. "She can not right now. Her life is really a mess. I'll see if I can talk her into it in a few days or maybe a week or two." Spike was trying to appease his Sire. "I'll call you or have her call when she's ready." "Thanks Spike look after her and don't let do anything stupid." *Yeah, like I could stop her from doing anything* he thought as he hung up the phone. Spike headed back to the crypt to check on his slayer. **** While Spike was gone Buffy had woken up and she couldn't find him anywhere. She did however find several bottles of liquor that Spike had. When Spike arrived back at the crypt it was quite. He crept down the stairs only to find Buffy lying in his bed. The room was all a glow with lit candles and Buffy wearing only his shirt. Spike's eyes widened and his mouth dropped as she crawled out from beneath the satin sheets. She slowly prowled towards him like a leopard hunting its prey. "Oh Spikey come here." She purred with a *come take me* look on her face. "Buffy are you feeling ok?" Spike questioned as he saw the empty liquor bottles on the floor. "You're drunk" "Am NOT!" she protested. "You are " "No, I've had something to drink to forget all this, but I'm not drunk!" Buffy protested even louder. Then all of a sudden she began to cry again. "Shhhh.it's ok," Spike said walking towards her. He hated to see her cry and she had been crying a lot lately. "Let's get you to bed and you'll just sleep this off." "No, I can't JUST sleep this off! This won't go away no matter how hard I try!" "What won't pet?" Spike says as he sat down on the bed next to her. "This, my life. It won't just go away." "Your life isn't that bad Slayer." "That's the problem, the slayer thing! I don't want to be the slayer anymore ." Buffy sighed. " I just want to be Buffy Anne Summers! A STUDENT, SISTER, AND WOMAN, NOT A SLAYER got it!" "Got it "Spike said sheepishly. " I have dreams too you know. You know what my dream is Spike? I'll tell you!" She continued. "My dream is to fall in love, get married, have that white picket fence, have a good no great job making more that enough money to support my 2 . 5 kids." Buffy took a breath and continues. " I want a husband to love me for me, who will grow old with me, who's there to hold my hair out of my face as I have morning sickness for 2 months straight, Who will go out at 3 am just to get me hot fudge sundae in the next county if needed. Who will love me even though I'm the size of a house, all because I'm carrying his child." There was silence for a moment. Spike finally spoke " I do too." He said softly. "I want all of it for you . for us. I can give you all of it ..except of the baby. I will do anything to make you happy. Anything at all!" Buffy turned his head to look into him eyes. They were soft and the candle light danced in them. She saw a lonely tear run down his face. Then she in and kissed him, whispering, "Let's try." 


	3. Remembering

**Summery: Buffy has to deal with the aftermath of finding out about Connor. Spike tries to help the best way he knows how**

**Rated: R.**

**Disclaimer: You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM.**

Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it.

.    

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles _**

**_Part III-Remembering _**

**"Let's try. " Those sweet words echoed in Spike's head.**

                He couldn't believe that it was real, Buffy here in his crypt, in his bed, his shirt, god he wanted her. But not like this not because of Angel or any problem. He wanted her there because she wanted to be there. 

"Let's try "Buffy whispered. " Make love to me "she whispered as her hands roamed over his chest. Starting to unbutton his shirt on her small body .He looks into her eyes trying to figure out if she really meant what she said or was it that she just needed someone to make everything go way. As Buffy's hands ripped his duster off his shoulders and franticly found his belt buckle. It didn't matter anymore at least not right now. The fact that she was there and she was the one wanting him that was enough. "Make love to me Spike!" she said pleading this time. 

Well, he couldn't let her down now could he and he hated to see her begging. *No wait* he thought, he actually liked seeing her begging him. "Are you sure?" Is all that Spike could say.

"Yes." 

With that Spike's hand found their way to the last button of her shirt. The other hand was gently caressing her face. Their eyes meet and passion burned to Buffy's very core.

 She wanted him. She needed him not just for tonight but forever. She knew it but she didn't want to admit it to herself and differently not to Spike. She wanted to tell him everything about the phone call, the way it made her fell, the way she felt laying in his bed waiting for him but she just couldn't. 

Spike's hand was wandering under his shirt and gently teasing her nipples. Buffy let out a little moan. His hands knew exactly what to do; they knew what made her happy. Her hands were tugging at Spike's t-shirt fighting like mad to get it off of him without interrupting what he was doing. Finally it was off and she could see his pale skin in the candle light. He was gorgeous. Her hands slowly slid down his strong chest, finding their way to his jeans. Undoing them, she pulled him on top of her. Falling back onto the bed she kissed him. 

His hand had found its way to her inner thigh, slowly moving to what he wanted most.  With one good tug Buffy peeled his tight jeans from him body. He wanted her. God he wanted her now and forever.  "Buffy" he said softly. "I …. I…." *I love you* he thought but couldn't say it. Instead he kissed her. 

Their two bodies were meant to be together, each one knowing what the other one wanted, needed even. As they moved in sync with each other the world around them disappeared. They made love for several hours. Finally from pure pleasure Buffy cried out, a moment later Spike did the same. They laid there for a few minutes, unable to move. Buffy slowly and almost unwilling slid off of him. She curled herself around his body not wanting to be away from him. Her head lying on him chest she drifted off to sleep. Spike held her close and fell a sleep as well. 

*****

  Buffy awoke just before sunrise. She wasn't quite sure of where she was or what had happened. All she could remember was Angel's call, Spike and drinking far too much in Spike's crypt. Then she looked at him, Spike. She was cuddled up with Spike and it hit her. Everything from last night came flowing back to her. She couldn't, she didn't, but she did. She had gotten drunk, told Spike everything she wanted in her life and told him in some way that it was him and only him that she wanted with.  Slowly and carefully she moved away, not wanting to wake him. She couldn't look him in the eyes knowing that he knows. She sat up on the edge of the bed for a moment before standing. 

"Going somewhere Luv" Spike said softly. 

"I have to go. " Buffy whispered. "Willow will be worried if she finds out I didn't come home." 

"Nope, I called Red last night and told her not to worry." 

"You did what?" Buffy stopped gathering her close and looked him dead in the eye. 

"I called Red and told her that you were upset and that you fell asleep in the crypt." Spike said matter a factly.

"Before or After?"

"Before!" he could tell by the tone of her voice she wasn't happy. "Guess I shouldn't tell you who else I called" he didn't mean to say it, it slipped out. 

Buffy's mouth dropped, "who?"

"Nobody that matters"

"WHO?"

"Peaches." Spike knew he had done it now. *Bloody hell* he thought. *She's going to stake me for sure now. Well at least I'll die a happy man.*

Buffy just stood there, not believing what she had heard. "You called Who?"

"I called Peaches" Spike paused "I wanted to know what he did to make you so mad."

"Why did you do that?"

"I all ready told you, I wanted to know why you were so upset." He lowered his head and muttered, "I know. " 

"You know. What do you know?"

"Connor" Spike had said it and there was no going back now.

"You…. Know about Connor."

"Yes luv. I know about Connor and about all of it." "There's something you don't know." *Why did he have to open his big trap any why. He could have just let her slip away not saying a word and she wouldn't have known anything. But oh NO! You had to go and say something. You could have stopped at calling Red, but no not you,* he thought. 

"What else?" Buffy asked moving back to sit next to Spike on the edge of the bed. She looked into his deep blue eyes trying to figure out what he knew that she didn't.

 "Um, its Darla ….she's gone." 

"She left" 

"No, not exactly, She's ……….dead." Spike mumbled.

 "What?"

"She's dead. She took her own life to save Connor's. If she hadn't, he would have died. "

Buffy sat there in silence for a moment. Suddenly she flew off the bed grabbed her close and running up the ladder to the upper chamber of the crypt. Her heart was racing, her head was pounding. She couldn't get dressed fast enough to get out of there before Spike could say another word.

Spike quickly followed her upstairs. He wanted to take it all back. "I'm sorry, pet." Is all he could say as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

 "I didn't know. I didn't let him finish last night. What didn't he just tell me that in the beginning?" 

"He wanted to tell you, but you hung up to fast. Are you ok?" Spike's voice was firm but soothing at the same time. His voice some how always calmed her at times like this.

"I don't know. I'm kinda confused right now. I need to go." Buffy said as she grabbed her jacket from the arm of Spike's brown chair. Then quickly went out into the still morning air.

Spike wanted to follow and comfort her, but he couldn't it being daylight in all. He wanted to tell her it was alright, that everything was going to be alright. He tried to convince himself that it was ok that Buffy was alright and she could handle the news. But deep down in his gut he was afraid that he had made things worse. Afraid that he had lost the one thing he wanted most by telling her about Darla. 

*****

Buffy wandered around the cemetery a few minute then slowly heading back to the house. Standing outside it she couldn't go in. She knew that Willow was already up and she would want to talk.  Buffy couldn't tell her. She couldn't tell her anything that had happened and she couldn't tell her how she felt. She didn't quite know how she felt. 

Slowly she turned and walked the streets of Sunnydale remembering when she first arrived. She remembered the first time she met Willow and Xander, and Angel. She remembered how she fell in love with Angel, how he turned into Angelus because of her; Willow giving him his soul back just in time for her to kill him. She knew they loved each other and they always would, but they could never be together. Spike on the other hand, he could always tell what she was thinking, what she wanted and needed. She remembered how, he helped her for the first time with Angelus and left town with Dru as he promised. How he came back and kidnapped Willow and Xander, so that Willow would do a love spell to get Dru back. He knew her even back then, he could always see right though her. 

As she found herself at her mother's grave, she broke down once again. "Mom why? Why do I have to choose, I love them both." Shocked that she had finally admitted it to herself, she loved Spike and there was no turning back now. She couldn't tell anyone but her mother, she always did like him, even more than Angel. 

"Mom, I don't know what to do. I want to be happy for Angel, but I'm afraid if I see him that I will fall in love him again and I'll lose Spike. I can't lose him. We just found each other. "She told her, now sobbing, "I love him, Mom. I really love him. But I can't tell him or anyone else but you."

Tbc.


	4. Friends

**_Summery:__ Buffy is still trying to come with grips with the Connor issue; she sleeps with Spike and tells him her dreams that she thinks will never come true. Upset Buffy visits her mother's grave._**

****

**_Rating: __PG -13_******

****

**_Disclaimer: __You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM._**

_Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it._

****

****

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles_**

**_Part IV- Friends _**

**"Buffy. Buffy hey where've been?"**

"Yeah, we've been looking everywhere for you. " 

"Hun what?" Buffy finally became aware of the fact that she was sitting in her kitchen and that Dawn and Willow had been talking to her.

 "Buffy, we've all been looking for you for hours!" Dawn was yelling at her in frustration and concern.

"Dawnie, can I talk to Buffy for a minute alone. You need to call Xander and Anya for me and tell them we found her. "Willow was calm and wanted to find out if Buffy was ok. She knew it wasn't possible with Dawn around. 

"OK." Dawn said as she calms down. "I got to find Spike and tell him, before he does…." She grabs the phone as she walks out of the kitchen and on to the back porch. 

They both hear Dawn say "I just hope he hasn't done anything stupid like kill himself trying to find you." as she shuts the door.

"Are you sure you're ok Buffy? You look kinda out of it. " 

"Yeah thanks Will, I'm ok. Just a little tired that's all." Buffy looks up at her best friend and tries to convince them both with a weak smile.

"We're just glad your home safe and sound. I got worried when you didn't come home. So I went to Spikes to see you and you were gone. Spike said you left a few hours before I came looking for you.  Spike is really worried too Buffy. I don't think I've ever seen him this upset before."

"Sorry I just had to take a walk and clear my head. I'm really tired Willow, we'll talk later, I promise." 

 Buffy give Willow a hug and an *I'm ok smile* before hearing upstairs to take a nap.

*************

Buffy awakes to a dim lit room it was just before sunset. She felt rested and a lot better. Buffy could hear Dawn in the bathroom with her blow dryer going. There is a knock at her door. "Buffy are you up?" a quite voice calls for the other side. 

"I 'm up Willow. Come in. " 

Willow entered the room and sat on the end of the bed. "We're all going to the Bronze want to come?"

"Thanks, I have to patrol first but I'll meet you guys there later." Buffy's voice was happier that the morning. Willow could tell she meant it. 

Willow left and got Dawn. They head off to the Bronze and meet Xander and Anya. 

Getting up Buffy looks out the window at the setting sun it was beautiful and dangerous at the same time. She knew that it was almost time for the vampires and demons to come out. She had work to do, "there was never a lack of thing to kill in Sunnydale is there?" She said to herself as she went into the bathroom to take a shower.

*******

As Buffy steps out of the shower she hears a noise in her room. Thinking it is Willow or Dawn; she left the bathroom in just a short towel and entered her room.

"Spike! What the hell are you doing here and in my room?" 

"Waiting for you luv. Had to make sure you're alright "Spike said softly as he looked her up and down, giving her the *raised eye brow smile*. She love that smile. She always melted when he did that. 

"NO really. What are you doing here? I mean Dawn and Willow are here." Buffy whispered trying to make sure no one hears her.

"They're gone. I waited until they left before came up. I'm not stupid you know." 

"You sure? " 

"Yeah they left about 10 minutes ago. I heard you in the shower and figured you didn't want any help in there. I mean I wanted to help. Just didn't know where we stand after last night, this morning and all."

"We're fine Spike. I'm not mad or anything. Thanks for taking care of me last night. I mean with the Angel/ Connor thing. "Buffy babbled on trying not to look at him. She was embarrassed and didn't want him to see.  

Spike loved to hear her babble she's was always so cute like that. "That's ok. I mean, I hope your better. I was worried when Red came looking for you. I was really worried something had happed to you." 

"Oh, I just had to take a walk and clear my head. I want to my mother's grave. I haven't had much time lately to go. "

"That's ok I'm just glad your all right. I went by myself earlier and had a good long talk. Had to catch her up on thing." Spike always did like having long talks with Joyce. 

Slowly Buffy walked towards the bed. She reached down and picks up her close. Spike was sitting on the edge of her bed and her black leather pants were just under his leg. Buffy tugged him off her pants" I've got to go." She looked at the window, "it's late and I need to patrol." She walks back into the bathroom. A few minutes later Buffy immerges from the bathroom wearing those black leather pants, and a white sweater that was fitter but not to tight, it had a plunging neck line that reveled just enough cleavage. Spike sat on the bed with him mouth slightly open. *God she looked beautiful* he thought to himself *and she's mine, maybe, ya she's mine.* 

"I'm ready to go patrolling, are you coming?" Buffy called to Spike how was still sitting on the bed. She opened the door and walked out.

He looks up. "Coming pet, that is if you want me to?" Spike follows Buffy down the stairs and out the front door.

*********** 

 "We've already patrolled this part 4 times Luv. There's no big bads here tonight, unless you count me that is?" Spike says in his smug way.

"I guess you're right Spike. To bad I really fell like killing something tonight." Buffy jokes.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just that I don't want to go to the Bronze and have to face all of them. Not to mention the questions like "Hi Buffy, why did you stay the night at Spike's? Or So I heard that Angel called last night and you wigged out what's that all about?" Buffy says in her best Anya voice.

"Yeah I see your point. So, you're just going to patrol all night?"

"No I guess I have to go I've stalled long enough. Can you please come with me?" Buffy plead with Spike.

"Don't you think they'll get suspense? They will ask the questions anyways."

"I know, but at least I'll have someone to back me up this way." Buffy looks at him and he caves in, like always.

"Ok let's go."     

"Oh and don't say a word about why Angel really called." 

"Connor, don't worry luv, I'm not touching that one not in a million years. That 's your place."

"Good 'cause I'm not ready to talk about that not quite yet." Buffy sighed.

************    

A little while later just outside of the Bronze.  

"Ready?" Spike asks. 

"No, not ready! But I guess we have to go in." Buffy sighs and gives Spike's hand a squeeze before letting it go.

Inside they try to avoid the questions by dancing and avoiding Anya and Xander. Willow all ready knows most of what happened and tries to help.  "Thank Red." Spike whisper in her ear as they danced. 

"I'm doing this for my friend, why are you doing this? Why are you keeping her secret, what do you want in return? Money? Or do you want something that money can't get you?" Willow has a ton of disbelief in her voice. 

 "I'm doing it for Buffy. She's my friend too." Spike states matter of factly.

 "When did you two become friends?"

"Over time, Overtime Red."

Willow is quite surprised at the way Spike and Buffy are getting along so well and wonders if more happened last night that Buffy has told her.

"Can I cut in?" 

"Sure Dawnie." 

"Thanks Willow " 

Spike and Dawn dance while Willow went to find Buffy. 

"We need to talk."

"I'm not ready to talk about Angel's call or Connor."

 "I don't want to talk about that. I want to know what happened with you and Spike. I mean last night? I mean you two are getting along, well too good."

"We just had a talk and he helped me see thing a little differently. He helped me, Willow and we are trying to be friend. It makes thing a little easier that way."

"I don't quite understand, but it's getting late and Dawn has school in the morning. Guess it will have to wait, we'll finish this later."

"Don't forget I have that new job too." Buffy added. "Let's get Dawn and go home."

 "She's dancing with Spike I think." 

"I'll go find her. Tell Xander and Anya We're leaving and I'll see them tomorrow." Buffy headed to the dance floor to find Dawn and the vamp. 

"You can't cut in Buffy!" Dawn protests.

"Sorry Dawn, but it's time to go home. You have school and I have to go to work in the morning." Buffy wasn't happy that she has to go either she really want to have a dance with Spike herself, but not on the dance floor. "Let's Go." She sighs.

"Spike can you at least walk us home Pleasssse." Dawn begs.

"Alright Nibblet, I'll walk you home, but only if it's ok with big sis here."

"Fine with me as long as you actually leave." Buffy says with a smirk on her face.

"Where's Willow?" Dawn asks.

"Waiting at the door for us." 

The three of them headed for the door and left for home with Willow.

*******  

"Bye Spike"

"Bye bit, I'll see you after school tomorrow?" Spike says with a smile in his voice.

"You bet!"

"I'll be waiting."

"See ya Spike."

"Later Red." 

"Willow I'll be in, in a few minutes. Make sure she goes to bed. " 

"Will do Buffy."

 Buffy waits a minute to make sure that Willow has left and wasn't listening at the door. She turned to Spike, "Thanks Spike for tonight and everything. You don't know what this means to me."

"You can always show me." He said, cocking his scared eye brow.

"Spike" she said giving him a playful little slap.

"Not right now, I mean maybe later you could come over and we could work out a payment schedule of some sort."

"Not tonight, maybe another night though." Buffy's voice sounded very wicked. She smiled and gave him a quite kiss before turning in for the night.

"Balls, I'm whipped." Spike mutters under his breath. *But this is a good thing,* he though as he walks back to the crypt. 

TBC….    


	5. Secrets

****

**_Summery:__ Buffy is still trying to come with grips with the Connor issue; she sleeps with Spike and tells him her dreams that she thinks will never come true. Upset Buffy visits her mother's grave. __Willow__ is getting suspicious of Buffy's friendship with Spike._**

_This picks a few weeks or maybe a month after Chapter 4.In the series it would take place right after "Older and Far Away."  _

****

**_Rating: __R for content_****__**

****

**_Feedback: __Yes Please!_**

**_Disclaimer: __You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM._**

_Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it._

****

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles_**

**_Part V-Secrets_**

**__**

_Willow__, Dawn and the rest of the gang had been talking to Angel even Spike._

_Willow__ wanted to know everything about Connor. How could a vampire have a child, not to mention two vampires having a child? It wasn't possible. Angel had been worried about Buffy's state of mind and how she had been taking the news of his son. They even told him about Buffy's little break down the night he called, despite Spike's constant protests. Angel almost liked his grand vamp. Once again for the first time in a long while he was happy to hear that at least someone was with Buffy when it happened .Even if it was Spike and not him. They also told him about to whole Katrina thing. How Warren and the geek squad killed her and tried to frame Buffy._

_Spike was secretly helping __Willow__ find out more about Connor. They all know Buffy was slowly getting better but didn't want to push the issue. Besides, Spike had other motivations for helping __Willow__ he really wanted to help Buffy's dreams come true. _

_Spike and __Willow__ were sitting in the Summers' kitchen late one night. They were talking about the prophecy that __Willow__ has translated (the one Wesley had sent to her).  Dawn has already gone to sleep, Buffy was out on patrol. _

_"Hi Will "Buffy said as she comes in the back door. " Is Dawnie a sleep?" _

_"Yeah, she went to bed about an hour ago. What happened to you?" __Willow__ replied._

_"Slimy demon with two heads and lots of gooey mess when you kill it!"__ Buffy jokes. "I need to take a shower I'm slimy and smell like a Double Meat Medley, yuck!"   As she walks past Spike, she can't resist the urge to run her slimy hands though his hair and make him a little messy too, since he wasn't there to get slimed. _

_"Hey watch the hair Slayer!" _

_ "Just getting you back for not going on patrol with me tonight." Buffy said as she head upstairs to take a shower.            _

_They waited until they hear the shower going before they get back to the matter at hand._

_"What you find out Red?" Spike questioned._

_"Not much more about the whole prophecy thing. You know, that a vampire has a child and he's a great leader someday thing. But nothing about how this could happen? The only thing I did find out was a reference to a slayer and a vampire who fall in love about 100 years ago, in one of the watcher's journals."_

_"What did it say?"_

_"Not much, but then I came a cross the reference again in another book, there look." __Willow__ said, showing Spike the book. "This refers to a slayer and Vamp who fell love. I'm not sure if this is a Myth or real, but it might explain the whole vampires having babies this."_

_"Do tell Red?" Spike sound very interested._

_"Well, about 100 years ago somewhere in __Ireland__ there was this vampire who was sent to kill a beautiful young slayer. He fought her several times and one time he had her in his grasps ready to kill her and couldn't. I mean he didn't. He just couldn't because he had fallen love with her. He didn't even try to turn her. She had several chances to kill him, but she didn't. The last time they fought with each other it ended with them …. You know having…" __Willow__ just couldn't say it._

_"Having Sex." Spike added. _

_"Yeah, they had fallen in love with each other and no one know, not even her watcher. They had been secret lovers for quite awhile when she became pregnant with their child. They tried to hide it, but after a while the watcher and a few others found out. Almost at the end of the pregnancy his sire found out. He paid them a visit. The master vampire gave them an option either  the slayer and child died or the vampire could die, but he would not let them all live or let them be happy ever again .The vampire couldn't see the women he loves and their child die, so he made the ultimate sacrifice. He died so that they could live. The sire left, but not before telling her that is why vampires DON'T have children." Nothing ever good came for a Vampire in love."  She tried to be strong for their child. She couldn't take the pain of a broke heart, so she killed herself and their unborn child. Hoping to be reunited with her love in the after life. "After __Willow__ had finished her tale she just looked at Spike waiting for him to say something. _

_Spike was amazed by what she had just told him. He knew that everything had really happened. He was one of the vampires who had been trusted with this information. He swore that he wouldn't let that even happen again. Thousands of times he had had nightmares about the way it ended. Spike had wished he could have stopped to whole thing, but the master vampire had kidnapped them while he was out feeding.  Dru didn't even know about them. For a while he had tried to kill himself for what had happened. Not quite sure if he should tell __Willow__ that he had been there when it happened. He said "I know, I've heard the myth before. Is there anything else you've found out in those books?" Trying to change the subject without being to obvious. _

_Buffy had finished her shower and come downstairs at the very end of the whole thing. She wasn't sure what Spike had told __Willow__ and didn't want to stop and ask. As she stood in the door way of the kitchen, Buffy demands to speak to Spike outside on the porch. "Spike, porch Now!"_

_Spike knew that voice, she only used it when she was going to kill Dawn for something she had done. Without a word he got up and headed to the porch, not wanting to make her any madder than she already was._

_Willow__ just stood there not sure what was going on or how much Buffy had heard of their conversation._

_*******_

_Spike was sitting on the top step of the porch smoking a cigarette when Buffy came storming out the door. "What the hell did you tell __Willow__ for?" Buffy snapped._

_"I didn't tell her anything, pet."_

_"Then what the hell were you two talking about?"_

_"The prophecy and Connor. __Willow__ had come across another reference to a vampire having a child well almost having a child. The baby died along with its parents at the hand of a master vampire. The baby was suppose to be a great leader, one how would bridge the gap between Slayers and Vampires forever. The child was going to bring peace to the world." Finally Spike looked up at her._

_"__Willow__ didn't say anything about that in there. How do you know that the baby was to do all this?" Buffy had calmed a little. She still wanted to know what Spike had told __Willow__, but this had sparked her interest._

_"I know because… I mean I was there. I was there when it all happened, but I couldn't stop it from happening. I couldn't stop the master from killing him and couldn't stop the slayer from killing herself and the child. I failed them all. I'm not going to ever let happen again, never again." Spike told her choking back tears._

_"You knew them? They were real, not just a myth?"_

_"Yes, they were real and I refuse to let anything like that happen to Connor. I don't really get along with Peaches, but I'm not going to let it happen to his son."_

_ Buffy couldn't say anything. She just sat on the step next to him with her head on his shoulder. It was silent for a while. This was the first time they had mentioned Angel or Connor since the night they had … that night. Finally Buffy says softly " I'm sorry that you had to deal with that, you keep it bottled up inside for all those years . Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"Couldn't just tell you."_

_"You could have. I'm here for you. You know that don't you? "_

_"Thanks luv."_

_"How do we help Connor?"_

_"Not quite sure yet?  Don't even know if he's in any danger."_

_"I think it's time I go see Angel and meet his son. I'm just kinda afraid of going alone. Would you? …I mean would you go with me to see Angel in __L.A.__?" Buffy asks softly, with that voice Spike can't resist._

_"You want me to go where? To see Who?" Spike is very surprised that Buffy had asked him to go with her and not one of her other friends._

_"Yes Spike, I want you to go with me to LA and to see them. I think you're the only one I want to be there when I see him for the first time."_

_"When do we leave?" Spike replied softly brushing a stray her hair out of her face._

_"Tomorrow night." She said with a gentle smile._

_TBC…_


	6. Road Trip

****

**_Summery:__ Buffy is still trying to come with grips with the Connor issue; she sleeping with Spike and told him her dreams, that she thinks will never come true. Upset Buffy visits her mother's grave. __Willow__ is getting suspicious of Buffy's friendship with Spike. Buffy finds out that __Willow__ and Spike are working on the Connor thing behind her back. Spike tells her a secret of his own. Buffy and Spike make plans to go and see Angel and Connor._**

**_Note;__ the song "Goodbye To You" is by Michelle Branch and was featured in the episode Tabula Rasa.  _**

_  ****___

**Rating: PG-13****__**

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

****

**_Disclaimer: __You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM._**

_Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it._

****

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles _**

**_Part VI – Road trip _**

****

**_The next night just after sunset, outside of the Summer's home Buffy was saying goodbye to Dawn, _****_Willow_****_ and the rest of the Scoobies before leaving with Spike for LA. Dawn and Buffy are outside on the porch. Spike was complaining to himself about how much Buffy had packed. For only a two day trip, she sure packed a hell of a lot he thought as he shoved the last suit case in the car.  _**

******_"Are you sure you'll be aright for a couple of days Dawnie?"_**

_"Yes Buffy, I'll be fine __Willow__'s here and Xander and Anya are going to keep a good eye on me as well. You need it do this, Buffy. You need to settle things with Angel and Connor or you will never let it go."_

_"When did you get so smart? Those monks gave you wisdom beyond you years, you know that squirt." Buffy told Dawn giving her a big hug. "I'm going to miss you."_

_"I'm going to miss you too Buffy. Have fun in LA and don't kill Spike." Dawn laughed._

_"It will be a miracle if we get there in one piece. You know Spike, always got to get me going with his smart comments and picking a fight." Buffy loving looked the vamp, who was leaning against the car waiting for her. She hoped Dawn didn't see the way she looked at him. _

_"NO fighting you two!" Dawn said loud enough for Spike to hear._

_"We won't Bit. I promise. Scouts honor." He chuckled, holding up his hands as to say not me; I'm innocent, as he walked to the porch._

_ "Ready slayer."_

_"Yeah, Bye Dawn I love you. I'll see you in a couple of days." Buffy gave her little sister one last hug before heading to the car._

_"Bye Nibblet. Stay out of trouble while we're gone!"_

_"Will do Spike." Dawn said, giving her favorite vamp a kiss on the cheek._

_****** _

_At first Buffy and Spike were quite. Buffy tries to find something to talk about with Spike. Not wanting to bring up the names Angel or Connor. She couldn't so she reached over and turned on the radio. "God Spike, you actually listen to this crap?" She grumbled changing the station to one she liked._

_"What's wrong with my music Slayer?" Spike Snapped changing it to a station that he know she'd hate._

_"This head banger stuff died in the 80's. Let it RIP already." She said changing it again, this time to an all boys' band radio station that Dawn listens to. She can't even stand it, but she knows that Spike hate it even more.  _

_ Spike saw the little game she was playing and wasn't going to fall for it. He changed the station again, but this time it was sometime that wouldn't offend her quite so much"Is this better?" he questioned._

_"Yeah, but I like this better!" Buffy stated as she came across a song on the radio, it was something that both of them liked. They listened to the song in silence. The next song on the radio was Goodbye to You. "I like this song." Buffy said softly to herself._

_*She remembered the first time she had heard it in the Bronze. The night they all lost their memories because of Willow's spell, the night that Tara moved out, the night Giles left, the night Spike came to comfort her and she tried to shout him out, but couldn't. He always knows what I need and when I need it doesn't he. Just like tonight, he doesn't want to go to LA but he's doing it for me, because I asked him to.*    _

_  "Me too, pet" Spike whispered. As he remembered that same night, he remembered the night that he thought Giles was his father and was names Randy, the night that Buffy helped him with the gang of vamps, then the spell was broken and Buffy went back to her usual miserable self. That night he went to the Bronze to find Buffy and see if she was alright, she shout me out, but then came after me when she thought I was going to leave too. That night I found out how much I really loved her and how much I would do anything to make her happy. I'll do anything for her all because I love her._

_The song was almost over when Spike finally speaks "Um, Buffy ….I have to tell you something." _

_Buffy was surprised that Spike had called her by her real name, not slayer, pet or even luv like usual. She was also worried what he might say. "What is it Spike?"_

_"There's another reason for coming on this trip to see Connor. Well I mean there are many reasons for me to come on this trip. Like finding out more about Connor, and if he's in any danger, to see Angel's son which is a miracle in its self. Make peace with Angel if possible. Because you asked me to and most of all I want to be there for you not just for this, but for everything good or bad. I just want to here for you always." Spike wanted to tell her that he wanted to find a way to make all her dreams come true. He wanted to find a way to give her a little miracle of her own, their own, but he couldn't tell her that. He was afraid it would just scare her away. They were getting really close, but she still didn't want anybody to find out about their relationship.  _

_"I'm glad you're here. I want you to know that, I like knowing you here for me. You make me feel safe and secure.  You've been there for me so many times since I came back and I haven't even thanked you. I'm sorry!" Buffy really wanted to tell Spike that she wanted to be there for him. _

_"What do I mean to you?" Spike asks very quietly almost whispering._

_ "I'm not sure; I don't understand what you're asking?"_

_  "I mean, how do you feel about me, about us?"_

_"Oh, I'm not sure. I mean like you, us. I like it when we spend time together. I fell better when ever I'm with you." she babbled. Buffy can't tell Spike what he wants to hear, the L-word would have to wait, she wanted to say it, but just couldn't, not yet.   _

_"Then why don't you want anyone to know about us? Are you ashamed of us?"_

_"No, I don't know why I want to keep it our secret, I just do. Spike please. Just keep this a secret for a little longer. After we get back maybe then, I can tell everyone." Buffy pleaded with him._

_"Do you mean it? Will you tell all of them even the whimp?"_

_"Yes, I'll tell them, but let me tell them. You can't tell anyone, got it!"_

_ "Fine"_

_It was quite for a few minutes, they just road and listened to the radio. "Spike I have something to tell you?"_

_Spike wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Buffy was going to say next. "Yeah, pet?"_

_"I'm thinking about going back to college."_

_Spike was relieved to hear that she was trying to get her life back to the way it was before Glory come to town. "That's a good idea. You should go back to school and quit that dead end job, no pun intended" _

_"Ha-ha very funny. I can't quit the __Double__Meat__Palace__, I need the money. I can't go to school without working too."_

_"I could help you out, I could give you money."_

_"Spike you don't even have a job, who could you help me?" Buffy wasn't quite sure she wanted to know but she asked anyway._

_"I just can, don't ask anymore questions if you don't want to know the answers. I want you to go back to school and quit that burger hell got it! It will kill you and your dreams will never come true while you work there." Spike hoped he wouldn't have to tell her anymore._

_    "What do you mean be that?" Buffy yawned. She was getting tired from the long ride._

_"Like I said just quite the burger place when we get back, I'll worry about the rest." Spike sighs "You're getting tire, take a rest. I'll wake you when we get there."   _

_Not wanting to fight about it Buffy closes her eyes and fell a sleep listening to the radio. She was almost a sleep when she hears Spike whisper "I love you I'll do anything to make your dreams come true." he reached over and brushed some of her hair away from her face." I mean anything" _

_The next thing Buffy heard was Spike saying, "Wake up luv."_

_TBC.  _


	7. Welcome to LA

**Summery: Willow is getting suspicious of Buffy's friendship with Spike. Buffy finds out that Willow and Spike are working on the Connor thing behind her back. Spike tells her a secret of his own. Buffy and Spike make plans to go and see Angel and Connor.**

** Spike and Buffy have talked about their relationship a little. **

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 7 – Welcome to LA******

**"Wake up luv. We're here." Spike voice was gentle then reached over and gave his sleeping slayer a kiss. "Wake up sleeping beauty." He joked. As Buffy opened her eyes she saw Spike and smiled.**

"Are we there?" she yawned, trying to work the kinks out of her stiff body. 

"Yes, we're at Angel's. It's kinda late. Doesn't look like anyone's up."

"Let's go in and go to bed I'm still tired." Buffy yawned. Spike raised his eye brow and smiled. "I don't mean it that way." Buffy protested by playfully slapping his chest. 

"I know no fun stuff. I have to pretend to dislike you so no one knows we're lovers. Got it, luv." Spike grumbled, and quickly gave her one last kiss before leaving the car.  

"Spike wait!"

"What is it?" Spike sighed; he was already half way out the door.

"I can't" Buffy protested.

"Can't what?" Spike questioned, turning to look at her with puzzled look on his face.

"I can't go in. Can we just go home?" Buffy's looked like a deer caught in someone's head lights. She was paler that any vamp he had ever seen.

"No, we're not coming all this way and not even seeing the little bugger. We're going in!" Spike knew she was just scared and the only way to get past it was to just do it. *Besides I can't wait 'til Peaches see that I'm the one that come with Buffy. This is going to be too fun to go home* he thought. 

"I'm scared Spike. I can't do this." 

"Yes you can, I'm right here with you. We can't go back now any ways. Won't make it back before sunrise."

Knowing that Spike was right Buffy sighed and resigned herself to the fact that they would have to go in. "Let's get this over with" she pouted. Buffy slowly opened the car door and got out. Spike grabbed one of her bags from the back along with his bag and walked around the car to meet Buffy. He handed Buffy her bag and they started up the walk to Angel's. About half way there Buffy stopped. 

"I don't think I can go in."

"Yes you can!" Spike reassured her. His voice was firm, but loving at the same time. He gently gave her a push. 

Buffy knew that Spike was right she could and she had to. She had to confront her fears about seeing Angel again. She hadn't seen him since first time right after she returned, but things were different. Now she was with Spike. She knew that Spike could hide his feeling for her around Angel. He had been doing it in Sunnydale any time her friends were around. What bothered her was the fact that she wasn't sure if she could hide her feeling for Spike. She knew if she got a little upset she would go running to him in a heartbeat. 

Finally coming to the front door they stopped and looked at each other. Spike reached over grabbed Buffy's hand and pulling her to him, and giving her a kiss. "No matter what I say, no matter what happens, remember that I love you! I love you Buffy Anne Summers, always have and always will." Then as he let here go, he rings the door bell.

There is no answer. After a few minutes, Spike rings it again but still no answer.

"Well if there's no one up I'll just… let us in." Buffy says as she pulled out a set of keys from her bag. Spike gave her a weird look, as to say where in the hell did you get them.

 Before Spike could say any thing she informed him, "Angel gave them to me the first time I came to see him, just never gave them back!" Fiddling with the keys she found one that worked, she slowly turns the knob and quietly walk in with Spike right behind her.  

  "Who's there?" Angel said jumping off the couch in the office. 

Buffy can't see him, but she can see a shadow coming towards her "It's me…Buffy." Suddenly she was being spun around and Angel was just smiling at her. "You came, you finally came!" Angel was almost crying.

"Yes, I came. I told you I would come to see Connor."

Angel eyes widen when he saw Spike out of the corner of him eye. "What's he doing here?" Angel growled.

"He came with me. I asked him to. Spike was the one who convinced me to come." Buffy knew Angel was angry that she brought Spike with her, but she wasn't backing down. 

"I don't want him here!"

"I'm not staying if he's not!" she protested pushing away from Angel, stepping back towards Spike.

Angel was surprised at Buffy's reaction and even more surprised at what she said. Spike just grinned and stepped towards Buffy.

"Fine!" Angel caved in, but he still wasn't happy about Spike being here and definitely not with Buffy. His Buffy.

"Thanks Peaches" Spike grinned, not just because Angel caved to Buffy. It was mostly because she stood up to Angel for him. Spike had been watching a figure moving in the office, since he had come out. He decided it was time to call Angel on it. "So, who were you in the office with?" 

"Nobody I was just sleeping on the couch." Angel was nerves.

"Angel I can see someone in there, a female someone. So just tell us who you're shagging in the office. We'll go to bed. Then you can get back to it." 

   "It's me" a small woman's voice came from behind Angel. She wrapped her small arms around his waist. Before coming into the dim light.

"Cordy?" Buffy couldn't believe it, but it was Cordelia Chase. Her friend, well sort a friend from high school. She knew that Angel and Cordy worked together and that they were friends, but this. This was more that she had bargained for. 

"Hi Buffy, glad you came."

"Well I'm really tired, is there some place I can crash?" Buffy asked trying to change the subject without looking too obvious.

"Sure follow me." Angel said as he grabbing Buffy's bag off her shoulder. In less than a minute he was half way up the stairs. *Guess I wasn't the only one wanting to change the subject she thought to herself.* "Coming" she calls out as she following Angel up the stairs. Spike was right behind them. He wasn't going to leave his Slayer with her former love. When he got to the top of the stairs Angel and Buffy were already putting her bags in the room across from Angel's.

"Where's mine Peaches?" Spike asked Angel as they reentered the hallway.

"Spike, I have just the place for you. You'll just love it. It will remind you of the crypt." Angel joked, but he wasn't really joking. 

"Angel be nice!" Buffy commanded.

"Fine, you can take this one next to Buffy." Angel replied, pointing to the door right of where they were standing.

"Thanks" Spike said as he pasted Angel and Buffy. He opened the door and walked in. Spike looked around the room it was large. It had a small kitchen at the end of the far wall. There was a small living room with a couch, chair, a table and TV just as you entered the room. In between the two small sections of the room was a large bedroom with sliding doors at each side to close of the bedroom. "It will do" Spike chuckled. He set down his bag on the bed and returned to the hall. "Buffy I'll get the rest of your bags," he said before going back down stairs.

"Wait, I'll help." Angel snapped. He wanted to talk to his childe. 

Buffy just rolled her eyes at the two disappearing vamps in her life, who were acting more like children as they raced to Spike's car.

******

Outside they fought over who was going to carry her bags in. "Why are you really here?" Angel growled.

" 'Cause she asked me to come!" Spike snapped back.

"Why would she do that?" he snapped back.

"Look, I was the one who convinced her to come here in the first place!" Spike yelled as he took the bag from Angel's hand. 

He was almost back to the hotel when Angel caught up with him. "What do you mean by, you convinced her?" 

"Just that Peaches, I convinced her. She wasn't going to come. She found every excuse in the book not to come and them some! Even on the way here she wanted to turn around and go home." Spike knew it would get him going, but said it anyways. As they entered the lobby of the hotel both of the women in Angel's life were standing there with their arms crossed across there chest and they didn't look happy. 

  "What?" both vamps said in unison.

"You two are acting like kids." Buffy responded.

"If you two don't stop yelling at each other, Connor will be up and we're not going to take care of him. You two kids will be!" Cordy added.

"Sorry!" they mumble putting their heads down.

Buffy walked over to Spike and grabbed a bag. "I'm going to get some sleep. You should too, it's been a long night." Walking up the stairs "When does Connor get up in the morning?" she asked Angel and Cordy.

"About 7," Cordy responds. 

As Buffy disappears up the stairs to her room, "I think I'll leave you two kids alone. Peaches just don't be loosing you soul." Spike joked as he made his way up to the room.

TBC.


	8. What's it mean?

**Summery: Buffy and Spike have arrived in LA, Angel has a visitor and Buffy is a little uncomfortable about the whole thing.  ******

**Rating: R just to be on the safe side.******

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 8 – What's it mean? **

**Spike and Buffy were a sleep in their separate beds. Angel and Cordy are still up.**

"Angel don't get mad at me for saying this, but… Where do we stand now that SHE's back?" Cordy chose her words carefully. She knew he still had felling for his former lover. "I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad that Buffy's here, but I want to know where do I stand in yours and Connor's lives? I love him and can't bear to loose him."    

"You won't loose him and nothing has changed. I still want you in our lives."

"I just don't want to be pushed out of that's all." Secretly she wished that Buffy hadn't come or had at least waited until her relationship with Angel was more definite. She couldn't stand there without worrying about it. 

"You're worrying about things that won't happen. I want you in my life and in my son's life.  

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes Cordelia, I do want you here with us." Angel walked over to the chair she is sitting in  and knelt down in front of her. Pulling her close to him, he gave her a big hug and gentle kissed her. "I do want you here now and always." 

Cordy could only hope that he meant what he said. She could hope that Buffy wasn't here to restart her relationship with Angel. She knew if Buffy wanted to she could take her life away from her. But why did she bring Spike with her, if that was the case. There were a million things running through her mind, but all she could say to Angel was, "Thanks"

"Let's get to bed, it's late and you know that Connor won't sleep in."  

"You're right besides I'm really beat." Cordy and Angel went upstairs to bed in their own rooms.

******** 

 "Where am I?" Buffy said as she looks around. People were walking around her, but no one answered. Ok they can't see me she said to herself. *It looks like Europe or something, maybe around the turn of the century,* she thought. Then suddenly she was in a cold, dark and damp place that smelled like a slow rotting death.

 She could almost see a figure on the opposite wall. "Help! Please help me!" she yelled.

 "Don't bother, it won't work" the voice came for the darkness. The voice sounded familiar to her. 

"Spike is that you?"  

"Who are you and how do you know my name?" he growled.

 "It's me Spike, it's Buffy! Please help me I can't move." She pleaded, trying to pull away from the wall. 

"I don't know anyone by that name and I don't think you're going anywhere. This place is like a fortress. Even if you did get free he would kill you before you got out the door."

 "Where are we?" she asked.

 "In the Master's dungeon." 

'Why are we here?" Buffy was confused, she knew it was Spike, but why didn't he know her.

"Because of me," a man's voice said. He seemed to be somewhere near Spike. "I'm sorry that you got dragged into this. I didn't think he would even find out, I'm sorry William."

"It's not just your fault David, it's mine too." A small woman's voice came from a few feet from Buffy. Buffy hadn't even noticed her.

"Who are you and why are we here?" Buffy asked the woman.

"My name is Sarah. We are here because the Master found out about us." Buffy couldn't believe it, it couldn't be. "The master found out about David and me, he found out about the baby too. Now he's going to kill us all." Sarah sobbed as tears ran down her face. 

"Sarah I won't let him touch you, I'll die before that happens." David told her.

"I think that's his plan mate." Spike added. "I think he's going to torture us to death and make her watch, then start on them."

"I won't let it happen. I can't loose you, the baby need her father." Sarah fell to her knees, crying hysterically. 

"Sarah, I'm sorry that I did this to you, I love you and didn't mean to hurt you." 

Buffy's eyes had  finally adjusted to the darkness and she could see Spike. Not the bleached blond vampire that she knew, but a dirty-blond haired man wearing suit. He was chained a few feet from another man who must be David. David was taller that Spike, had dark brown hair and was thin like Spike. Buffy turned her head she saw Sarah. She was a small woman with long auburn hair. Buffy eyes were immediately drawn to her budging stomach. *She must be almost ready to have the child* Buffy thought. *She couldn't believe it, it was the story that Spike told her. But how, could this be happening. How and why was this happening.* 

The door at the end of the room slammed open and a large old vampire walked in with several other vampires walked in behind him. "I hope you're comfortable," he said walking over to Sarah.

"Leave her out of this! It's me you want!" David growled, charging at the vamp, but the chains were too strong and he was helpless. All he could do is to watch as the master reached down putting his hand on Sarah's stomach. "Now on the contrary I want you watch as I rip this out of her." 

"No you won't! I won't let you hurt her or the baby!" Buffy snapped, drawing his attention away for Sarah.

"And how can you stop me? You are just a little girl." 

"No I'll a slayer." Buffy said calmly, standing up.

"You're a what?" was said by most of the room. 

"I'm Buffy the vampire slayer and I'm not afraid of you." She was trying to be brave but she was terrified. This was the same master faced the when she first came to Sunnydale. 

"I like you! You got spunk. You'll be a nice addition to my little family after they are dead. Maybe you and William here will be non-soul mates."

"Leave them out of this!" Spike snapped. 

"Oh do you have feelings for this one?" the master smirked, walking over to Buffy. "I think I'll keep her for myself, if you like her so much." 

"Leave her alone!" Spike growled, vamping out and thrashing. He was madder than she had ever seen him. 

"William and David my two disobedient children, don't tell me that these two are more important than our family." 

"She is my family! Sarah and our baby are my only family. I want no part of your, anymore." 

"Well if that is your decision, than one of you must die. I will not allow any childe of mine to live their life with a Slayer. You have a choice Sarah and the baby or you, one of you must die."

 "Than it's me, I'm sorry Sarah. I love you and the baby too much to let you die. Promise me that you'll tell her that I love her and I always will. Take her far away from here and raise our daughter in a place where this monster can't touch her." If David couldn't save himself at least he could save Sarah and their daughter, he hoped.

   "David no, I can't live with out you. I'll die without you." 

"Sarah you have to be strong for me and for the baby. You have to do this or we will all die." David was scared but he knew it was the only thing he could do.

"Aww.. isn't that sweet, now they can watch you die." The master said walking over to David. Grabbing him by the mouth and poured holy water down his throat. David dropped to his knees, screaming in pain. 

"See this is why vampires don't have children. Nothing ever comes from a vampire in love!" with that, he walked out the door.

Buffy suddenly bolted from the bed. She was cold, scared and wasn't sure where she was at first. She looked around the room and realized it was all a dream, a really bad dream. Her heart was racing, and she had goose bumps all over her body. Buffy quickly made her way to Spike's room. She only hoped that he was there. Outside in the hall, she quietly knocked on his door, "Spike, Spike can I come in?" her voice was low not to wake anyone else. 

Spike heard the tremble in her voice and run to the door. "What's wrong?" 

"I need to talk to you." Buffy was shaking like a leaf. 

Spike grabbed her and held her for a minute before he pulled her in the room. "What's wrong? You're shaking"

"I had a bad dream. But it seemed so real. I was there, I saw all of it."

"You know it was just a bad dream pet. You're safe now."

"No, Spike you don't understand. I was there and I saw it all. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save any of them!" Buffy was crying.        

"Here sit down and tell me about you dream." Spike lead Buffy over to the bed and  they sat on the foot of it. Spike tried to calm her by petting her hair. "It was only a bad dream, luv" he whispered softly.

"Spike, I was right there. I know what happened. I know you couldn't save them."

"Save who?" 

"David and Sarah, you couldn't save them. I tried to save them but I couldn't do it either."

"Shhhh, it was only a dream. David and Sarah died over a hundred years ago. You couldn't have been there."

"But, I was Spike. I was chained to the wall of the dungeon right next to Sarah. You were chained to the wall across from me and David was right next to you. The Master came in and made David choose between Sarah and the baby or himself dieing. He told her that he loved her and the baby and that he wanted her to go away so that their daughter couldn't be hurt by the master. Then the Master made him drink Holy Water."

"It's ok, luv." Spike hugged her. He was shocked, she was right, every detail was right. How could she have know them if she wasn't there? 

"Spike, promise me that you won't leave me" she pleaded. 

  "I promise you I won't leave you. I won't ever leave you." He kisses her lovingly. "It was only a bad dream. You need to forget about it."

"I don't think I can." She was still shaking, even though Spike was holding her. 

"Let's get you to bed. You need to get some sleep."

"I don't think I can. Could you hold me for awhile?"

 "Sure, pet. Let's get you back to your room though. I think that Angel would get upset if he found you in here. I'll stay with you until you fall a sleep and then I come back here." 

"Ok." she sniffled. 

They made their way to Buffy's room. She curled her body around his. Her head was on his chest with one arm wrapped over him. He was lying on his back with his arm around her back. He was lightly stroking her hair. They both slowly drifted off to sleep.

*********    

     Spike woke up to find it was almost dawn and still in Buffy's bed. He didn't want to leave, but if Angel found him in here he was going to kill him. Spike slowly crawled out from under Buffy and out of the bed. Quietly he opened the door and checked to make sure that no one was up. Spike had just got in bed when he heard a knock at the door. *I guess I'm not going to get sleep now am I,* he thought to himself. Spike quickly got back up and answered the door. He had figured that Buffy woke up when he left and she couldn't get back to sleep. When he answered the door he was shocked to find Cordy standing there in her Pj's. "What do you want?" Spike was harsh, but he was still tired. He didn't mean to be so rude.

"Spike, I need to talk to you"

"Later. I'm tired and want to go to bed."

"No, Spike now. Unless you want me to tell Angel you spent the night in Buffy's room."

"Fine!" Spike mumbled, knowing Cordy would. He didn't want to deal with Angel. "Give me a minute. I'll meet you downstairs."

"Don't be long. They'll be up soon." Cordy want downstairs and put the coffee on. She got a cup of blood for Spike and sat down at the counter to wait for Spike. Spike joined her and they talked about what Cordy had seen. "Cordelia, I was just there because Buffy had a bad dream. She needed to talk to someone. We fell asleep talking. That's all." 

"Sure Spike, you just came here with Buffy because you are just friends. She has a bad dream, comes running to you and you just happen to fall a sleep in her bed talking. Sure I believe you and I'm sure Angel will too." Cordy mocked. 

  "Cordy, please don't tell Angel anything."

"Only if you tell me the truth, the truth about what's going on between you and Buffy. I want to know everything!" Cordy wanted to know where she stood with Angel and if Buffy had feelings for Angel or for Spike.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone no matter what, got it?" Spike wasn't happy that she had the upper hand, but he didn't want Angel to find out about late night. "Buffy and I are …. Umm, well I love her and we've been getting closer lately." 

"Are you two doing it?" Cordy asked bluntly.

"No, we haven't yet. What's going on with you and Angel anyways?" he replied, trying to change the subject.

 " I  don't really know. Ever since Connor was born we have been getting really close. I spend most nights here just in case he needs me. But now that you and Buffy are here, I'm not sure what going on with us. I'm afraid that Angel will want Buffy to move here and bye -bye Cordy." She sighed, "How does she feel about Angel?"

"Not sure, I mean she didn't want to come. I had to convince her to some see Connor. She was really upset after Angel called." 

"Do you think she still has feelings for Angel? The some kind of felling she had in high school?" 

"I don't think so, but I'm still afraid of losing her, we've just starting to get close."

They could hear Connor on the baby monitor. "I'm going to go get him." With that Cordy went up to retrieve the baby.

****** 

Upstairs Angel was already up and changing Connor when Cordy comes in, "morning" 

"Did Connor wake you up?" 

"No Angel, I was already up. I heard him." Cordy was just happy to see her two favorite guys. "I'll take him downstairs and feed him. Why don't you take a shower and get ready." She took Connor from him and kissed Angel before returning downstairs.

TBC.   


	9. Connor

**_Summery:__ Buffy and Spike are at Angel's. Cordy has found out a little too much__.  _******

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 9 – Connor**

****

** Cordy had just come from Angel's room with Connor in her arms. Entering the lobby, Spike sees her with the baby.**

Spike gulped hard and finishing his breakfast. He set the mug down. Cordy walked over to Spike. "Spike meet Connor." She turned the baby in her arms so that Spike could see him better. "This is your uncle or brother, um …I don't know!" 

"Uncle's fine." Spike said, taking the baby from her.

"I'm going to warm up a bottle. He's probably getting hungry. Will you be ok for a minute?" Cordy wasn't too sure if leaving Connor with Spike was a good idea, but Connor seemed to like him.

"We'll be fine Cordy, go get the little bugger something to eat." Spike didn't even look up at Cordy. He was amazed by the little one in his arms. He studied every fetcher. Connor was giggling at the faces Spike was unknowingly making. A few minutes later Cordy returned to the room with a bottle for Connor. Spike was now blowing raspberries on his cheeks and Connor was laughing. Cordy couldn't believe what she was seeing, the Spike she knew a long time ago back in Sunnydale was no where to be found. This new Spike, had feeling for Buffy and was playing with a baby, she liked this new Spike a lot better. She couldn't help, but giggle a little too. "Connor, are you getting hungry?" Cordy asked the happy baby in Spikes arms.

"Can I feed him?"

Cordelia was shocked, but handed the bottle over to him anyways. "He need to be burped every ounce or so. I can help with that if you need me to?"

Spike fed him, Cordy shows him how to burp Connor. Spike is a pro she thought to herself. He caught on faster than Angel did. Wow! They talk about how he felt about Buffy, and how she felt about Angel and Connor. They both don't want to loose the ones they love.  

"Cordy, I think he's finished. Now what do I do with him?"

"Nothing yet, he'll let us know if he wants anything. Believe me, he lets everybody know!" Spike sat there for a while, playing with Connor. 

 Buffy had been standing on the stairs for a few minutes and had watched Spike with the tiny infant. He was so gentle and loving with him, the same way he had been with her some many time, like last night.

 Spike looked up and saw Buffy standing there "morning, luv" he said, giving her a big grin. 

"Morning guys"  

 Spike walked over to the bottom of the stairway to meet Buffy with Connor still in his arms. "Little one, I would like you to meet you aunt, Buffy." Buffy hesitated on the bottom step for a moment, before stepping down in front of Spike and Connor. She was a little afraid, nerves and happy all at the same time. Spike tried to hand Connor to Buffy, but she shakes her head "No, I can't." 

  "Yes you can. He won't bit you or anything." Spike joked. All Buffy could do is look at them for a minute. She finally took a step forward and took Connor from Spike. She was not quite sure what to do with him. Spike helped position Connor in Buffy's arms. 

"See, he won't hurt you?" he assured her.

"I'm afraid that I'll hurt him." Buffy couldn't believe that this was what she was afraid of. This was what she was putting off from seeing. Why? How could this be what she was afraid of this little baby? Connor was still looking at Spike and giggling. "Hello Connor" she said softly and Connor's head turns to her voice. She saw Angel in Connor's eyes. "He looks a lot like him father, doesn't he?" 

"Yeah pet. I hope he grows out of it." Spike joked, trying to avoid the playfully slap coming his way and walking over to the couch. They both sat there while she played with Connor for a while. Spike just sat next to her, watching. She was really happy. *I know she would be a great mother,* he thought to himself. 

Cordy had decided to leave them alone for a while and had gone upstairs to take a shower. 

*************

A little while later Spike and Buffy were still playing with Connor on the couch when Angel comes down. He can't believe the way Buffy and Spike are acting with each other. Talking and laughing with each other the way he and Cordy do. Connor was happy just laying on Buffy's lap while Spike makes funny faces at him. Angel cleared his throat, causing both of them to look up. "Hi Peaches, cute son you got 'ere." Spike said, quickly getting off the couch. "I think, I'll go take a shower or something." Then he went up stairs.              

 "He seems to like you Buffy." Angel told her, walking over to them and sat on the couch next to Buffy.

"I know it took me a long time to get use to the fact that you had a son. I was afraid of coming here, but I don't know why now. Connor is so adorable. I'm sorry it took me so long." Buffy was still holding Connor, who was starting to fall asleep.

"I'm just glad you did come to see him. I know things are different now. We're not the same people anymore. I was a little afraid of seeing you again too" 

They continue to talk about the past. They both want it to stay in the past. Neither of them wanted to hurt the people they love by getting involved again. "Why did you ask Spike to come here with you? Is there something going on with you two?" Angel asked on a harsh tone. He isn't happy that Spike was here and Buffy knows it.  

 "I asked him to come. We're friends. He was the one who talked me into coming. I only thought it was fair that he was the one who come with me. I know you two don't get along to well, but could you try for me?" she asked as she got up. Walked over to the bassinet and put Connor in it. "He's a sleep." She whispered, smiling at the sleeping baby. 

Then walked back over to the couch and sat down again. "Things have changed since I come back. I've changed. I mean I don't feel like the Buffy I use to be, I actually don't feel much at all. It's like I'm dead inside or something. I'm miserable most of the time. I don't know way, but the only time I have any kind of feelings is when I'm around Spike. It doesn't matter if we're fighting or just talking." Or something else, she thought to herself.

Angel wasn't quite sure what she means. "Do you love him?"

"No. It's not love, it something else. I can't explain it. He makes me almost happy." She doesn't know how to explain it without letting him know that she and Spike are lover, and she is falling for him. She is falling in love with Spike even harder that she had for Angel. Spike showered her emotions that Angel doesn't even have. "Besides you have Connor and Cordy now, things are different for the both of us.," she added looking away.

"Connor means the world to me. Cordy has been here for me since he's been born. She loves him. I think she loves him more that I do sometimes." He reached over gently placing his hand on her chin and drew her face back to him before he continued. "Buffy, I think I'm falling in love Cordelia. I'm afraid I'll lose my soul again and do something to hurt them. I can't let that happen."

"Angel, you won't. I won't let that happen. I won't let you lose your soul, we'll find a way to make it permanent. I promise you that. You deserve to be happy, after everything that happened. You deserve it." 

"Thanks Buffy."

As the door to the lobby opened, Wesley, Gunn and Fred came in, laughing and talking. Then they saw Buffy, and  the room fell silent. 

"Hi guys." She said, smiling at them.

"Buffy, you're here." 

Wes walked over and hugged her. They all sat down and talked for a while. Buffy told them most everything that was going on in Sunnydale. They caught her up on the latest demons in LA. When Spike came downstairs , he scared the hell out of Wes, Gunn and Fred, Buffy had forgotten to tell them that he came to LA with her. 

Gunn and Angel had work to do, so they left Buffy and Wes to talk. Fred had gone upstairs with Cordy. And Spike was in the other room lying on the couch watching TV. Buffy and Wes had  gone into the office talk. She wanted to know more about the prophecy. She also told him about 'the myth' of Sarah and David, and that it is real. Buffy had questions, she wanted to know what her dream meant. Wes didn't know about the 'myth' or that it was true. He had started to look for more information on it in the books he had available to him, but told Buffy he couldn't promise any thing. She was just about to leave when she turned back to Wes. "Can you also look for a way to give Angel his soul back for good?" Wes was shocked, but he nodded in agreement.

Mean while Connor had woken up from his nap, Spike had been playing with the baby. When he suddenly throws up on Spike's shoulder "Ok little monster, you go your uncle Spike good. I guess I deserve it for bouncing you around a little too much after you ate in all." Spike didn't really seem to mine Connor's little mess. He started to clean they both up. 

Buffy had walked out of the office just in time to see Connor get him. She thought about helping, but he seemed to have it under control. She stood in the door way of the office and watched them. He knew just what to do, surprisingly even when Connor started to cry. He soothed the infant as he changed him. "Amazing!" she whispered. 

Spike looked up at the sound of her voice and saw her staring at them. "A little help here, luv?" 

"You don't need any, your doing great." She remarked almost giggling at the sudden change in Spike's behavior. It was like he didn't want to see him a soft and loveable, but Buffy saw that side of him all the time lately and it always seemed to melt her heart. *If he only knew,* she thought.

"Very funny. He's changed, but I'm covered. Can you take him so I can change my shirt?" He walked over to her, handing her Connor. "Be right back, and watch out he just ate." Spike added as he disappeared up the stairs. 

She sighed, "Great dad material," looking down at the happy little one in her arms. "Wait a minute, did I just say that out loud."

    TBC… 


	10. Letting Go

**Summery: Buffy and Spike are at Angel's. Buffy meets Connor and falls in love with him. She has had a talk with Angel, and asked Wes for some help. ******

**Rating: R just to be on the safe side. ******

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

**Disclaimer: You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM.**

Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it.

**A/N: This is what I would like to happen in good old Sunnydale, but we all know that Joss would never let anybody be happy for very long. Dam him. **

**A/N2: I know that Cordy's visions, for the most part, give her a specific address and details. But for this story, it is important that she not get some of the vital information. I could be that the demon moved to fast or that her vision wasn't clear enough, but what ever it is important for this story to work.  **

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 10 - Letting Go**

Later that day, Wes, Gunn, and Fred were out investigating a case. Angel, Cordy, Buffy, and Spike were still at the hotel with Connor. It was a pretty quiet day until Cordy collapsed to the floor with a vision. 

"Cordy what's wrong?" Buffy is frightened; she doesn't know what to do. Cordy didn't say anything. "Angel, Spike get your butts in here, quick!"

The two vamps come running when they hear her screaming. As Angel saw Buffy, he started to asks what was wrong when he saw Cordy. She was starring off and knew immediately what's wrong. "She's having a vision Buffy. How long has she been like this?" he panted coming to knee next to the two women. Cordy's visions had been getting worse with each one. 

"A minute or two I think. We were talking and all of a sudden she stopped talking mid-sentence. I grabbed Connor from her. She looked like she was going to drop him."

Buffy was still holding the infant tight to her chest. Spike was now standing next to Buffy and rubbing her back to calm her. "Shhhh….Luv, it alright." He whispered in her ear, hoping that Angel hadn't heard. 

Another minute passed, Cordy was starting to come around. Angel had been tried to get her attention the whole time, but she didn't even know that anybody was around her. Cordy blinked her eyes and saw Angel kneeling beside of her. "Cordy, Cordy are you alright?" it took her another minute to realizing that Angel was the one talking.

 "Ya I'm fine, I had a vision."

"So we saw, pet. What was it about?" 

Cordy looked up to see Spike and Buffy standing beside her, "A demon, a baby stealing demon, who wants to eat them…... yuck."

"A what?" Buffy asked as she held Connor even tighter.

"I saw a demon in the hospital who was taking the babies. It was eating them, when it was out of sight from humans."

"We need to go stop this thing," Spike was already grabbing his duster, and ready to go kill it when Angel stopped him.

"Spike wait a minute, we don't even know what hospital or what this thing is."

"Does it matter? I mean it's a demon and it's after little ones." Spike growled.

 "Yes it does. We need to know what we're fighting." Angel snapped.

"Stop fighting! We need to know what kind of demon this is so that we can kill it." Buffy was mad at both of them. She knew that Spike was right and she knew that Angel was right too. They had to find out all they could about the demon and fast so that this thing couldn't hurt another baby. Still holding Connor close to her, she walked over to the stack of books on the desk. Sitting down Buffy balanced a book in one hand and Connor in the other. Spike knew that Angel was right. They do need to know to kill it, but it had to be quick. He walked over to join Buffy in the research. Angel and Cordy join them as well. 

"Hours of research and no luck on this thing," Cordy protested, slamming the book shut. 

"Shhhh, you'll wake up Connor," Angel whispered. It had taken him almost an hour for him to get his son out of Buffy's arms after the vision and he didn't want to do that again. Who know a vampire's strength wasn't as strong as slayer's will. 

"Wait, I think I found something." Buffy proclaimed, turning the book to Cordelia. "Does this look like it?"    

"Let me see! Yeah that's the demon aright, ugly isn't it?" 

"Gross!"

"It says here the way to kill it is to cut off its head, pretty simple." 

"A little too simple. There's got to be more to this." Angel was worried that Cordy hadn't told them everything. Her vision was far too long for it to be that simple.

"I don't care! I just want to go kill it. Let's get on with it!" Spike hated research and wasn't in the mood to sit around anymore. "Can we go all ready!" as he got up, and started for the door.

"No Spike, you can't go!" everyone stopped and turned to Cordy. "There's more, I saw Holts too. He's the one who summoned this thing. I think it's a diversion. I saw him coming after Connor."

"Spike you're staying here with Connor and Buffy."  By the tone in Angel's voice Spike knew not to argue with him. "Cordy you're coming with me."  

"You can't just walk into a hospital." Buffy said.

"We can pretend we're a couple going to have a baby. It's a much better way, than Spike and I charging into the maternity ward." 

Cordy and Buffy had to agreed with that. Both the women disappeared up the stairs, going to find something to alter Cordy's appearance. 

    After the girls were out of sight, Angel turns to Spike. "We need to talk."

"Who's Holts?"

"He's someone from my past. Now he's come back for his revenge on me, and everyone I care about. He'll kill anyone who gets in his way. I need you to stay here, to protect them. I have a felling this is just a distraction to get me away from Connor, so he can take him." 

"Yeah, you're probably right " 

 "Promise me something Spike. If Holts comes, you and Buffy will take Connor and run. Run far as you can, don't stop or look back until its safe. Then call the gang in Sunnydale to tell them where you are. I'll find you when Holts is gone. Here take this, you might need it." Angel shoved a cell phone and a wad of cash in Spike's hand. Spike nodded. As they both hear the girls coming down. "Don't tell Buffy anything, less you have to."

  They saw them on the stairs. Cordy was wearing a sundress. "It's all we could find, do you think it will work?"  Cordy asked

"You look like you're having a baby to me." Spike answered

"You look beautiful Cordy." Angel couldn't believe how beautiful she really was. *If only you could be pregnant with my child, if only*he thought.

"Are we ready to go?" 

"Just let me grab some weapons." Angel said, grabbing a knife and a couple of other things. He heads out the door with Cordy.

******

 An hour has past Spike and Buffy had changed, feed Connor and he was now back asleep. 

 Sitting there on the couch, they watch Connor sleep in the bassinet. "Buffy you would be a really good mother." Spike whispered in her hair.

"Thanks, it's not that hard. I mean Connor is easy to love. I just know what to do it, somehow." She replied, sinking back against Spike.  

"Buffy if you…" Spike hesitated "if you want to stay here in LA with Connor and Angel, I'll understand." he said the words, but didn't mean it. Not in the least. What he really wanted was to take Connor and Buffy and just run away, far away. Just like Angel had said, but he wasn't going to do that. He would let her go, if that was what she decided. He only wanted to make her happy and if staying here in LA did, then he would accept it. 

Spike's words shocked her. She was quite for a moment before responding. "Spike, I am happy here with Connor, but I don't want to stay. I'm going back to Sunnydale with you. Home to the rest of my friends. I do want this, all of this, but in Sunnydale not LA." Buffy just hoped that Spike understood what she meant. That she want a baby with him and not Angel. *If I could only tell him* she thought. She leaned back and kissed him, lightly on the cheek.  

"I need to go call home and check on Dawnie." Buffy got up and went into the office to calls home.

Spike got up to check on Connor, who was still asleep. "God I want it too, luv." He whispered. 

TBC….


	11. For Us

**Summery: Buffy and Spike are at Angel's. Buffy meets Connor and falls in love with him. Buffy has had a talk with Angel, and asked Wes for some help. Angel and Cordy are out demon hunting. Buffy and Spike are babysitting Connor. **

 **Rating: R******

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

**A/N: This is what I would like to happen in good old Sunnydale, but we all know that Joss would never let anybody be happy for very long. Dam him.  **

Thanks to all of you for the reviews. You keep me writing.

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 11 - For Us**

**Angel and Cordy have been gone for hours. Buffy has checked in on Dawn and ****Willow****. There doing fine, no big bads lurking around the Hellmouth lately. Spike was stretched out on the couch holding Connor, just watching some TV. Buffy had joined them after her phone call. **

They play with Connor for a while, watched an old movie. Life's great. 

Meanwhile Angel and Cordy had gone from hospital to hospital looking for the demon. They were tired, when they finally find the demon in the fourth one. The demon wasn't as easy to kill as they thought, but they do. 

On the way home Angel wondered if Connor was alright. He hoped that Spike hasn't had to do as he asked and run with them. "Cordy, I told Spike if Holtz came after Connor that I wanted him and Buffy to take Connor and run. Just for a while, when Holtz is dead I'd go find them." 

"Angel, I hope they didn't had to run. I won't know what to do if Connor isn't there when we get back. Angel, I love him, too much…" 

"I know you do, and he love you. No ones going to take that away from you."

"Not even Buffy?"

"No, not even Buffy. She couldn't replace you. No one can."

Then they arrive back at Angel's, it was dark inside. Cordy and Angel fear the worst. With weapons ready they enter through front door. Hearing something in the other room, Angel slowly made his way to the room, only to find the TV on. Connor sleeping in Buffy's arms with both of them tightly wrapped in Spike's arms. They were all sound asleep. Angel left the room to put the weapons away. Then returned to retrieve Connor and made his way up the stair to put him in his crib. Cordy followed them up the stairs.

Spike had been woken up by Angel opening the door, but didn't want them to know he was awake. After he knew they were asleep, Spike gently wiggled his way out from underneath the sleeping slayer. Then carried her upstairs to bed. She wiggled in his arms and mumbled something that he couldn't understand. As they reach Buffy's room Spike fiddled with the door knob and she started to wake up. "Spike?"

"Shhhh, it's late you need to go to bed." He whispered.

Finally after several attempts Spike had gotten the door open. He carried her to the bed. After laying her down, he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. " 'night"

"Spike don't leave." Buffy pleaded, pulling him onto the bed with her. 

"What if Angel and Cordy finding out?"

"It doesn't matter right now. All I want is for you to be with me, here and now." Buffy's voice was seductive. He knew what she wanted and even needed. She needed him.

"Spike stay here with me. Make love to me." She whispered, as she passionately kissed him. Spike wasn't going to refuse her. All he wanted was her, no one else. He slid his hand behind her head to play with her soft, blond hair. She started to unbutton his shirt, fighting with every button. She couldn't get it off fast enough. Spike's other hand found its way down her body. She trembled with the slightest touch. He could feel her heat rise as he reached her inner thigh. Buffy let out a little moan in pleasure. *God, his hand know just what to do.* She thought. Slowly without breaking their kiss, they undress each other. The heat from her body was driving them both wild. He needed to be in her. She needed him to be in her.  They were so catch in each other it was hard for them to be quiet while making love, but they didn't want anyone to hear them. They make passionate love for hours. 

Finally from pure exudation they curled up together with bodies intertwined. Just as they were falling to sleep Buffy whispered "I love you."

Spike's eyes fly open in surprise, but she was already fast asleep in Spike's arms. He lied there awake for while just watching her sleep, wondering if she really meant it. 

TBC……    


	12. Goodbyes

 **Rating: R******

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Part XII- Goodbyes**

**The sun had just started to rise in the cloudy and unusually cool early morning air; you could tell it was going to rain soon.**

Buffy slowly awoke to find Spike's arms still tightly wrapped around her. She turned to him. *God, I do love you,* she thought, finally admitting it and then saying it last night. She wasn't sure if he heard it, but she knew she would tell him again. She would tell him. He was the only one for her and that she wanted him always. She kissed him gently on the lips; Spike slowly opened his eyes to see her smiling. "Good morning" she whispered.

"It is," he said in a sexy tone, "it's definitely a good morning."

"Spike, do you love me? I mean, really love me?"

"What? You know I love you. What's this all about?"

"Do you promise not to leave me?"

"I promise. You're starting to scare me here, luv. What's this all about?"

Buffy was quite for a moment. "Spike, do you remember the night I found out about Connor? The night I broke down and told you my dreams?"

"Yeah."

"You said you wanted them too, do you still?"

"Yes Buffy, I want all of it, good and bad. That's all I've been thinking about since you told me."

"Spike,…I love you." "I want to have it all, with you." Spike can't believe that she said those words to him, again. 

They passionately kissed and make love. 

***********

 A while later Wes and Cordy were downstairs already working on a case. When Buffy made her way down to join them, after taking a shower and getting dressed for the day.

 Buffy had asked Wes if they could talk, and they went into the office, shutting the door behind them. Wes told her what he knew, which wasn't much. "I might have some more information about the myth. It seems that The Council knew about the whole thing. They were the one who let the information leak to The Master, in the first place. They wanted them dead, all of them!"

 "What? The Council helped kill David, Sarah and the baby?" Buffy couldn't believe it. She knew that The Council couldn't be trusted, but this. She couldn't believe they would go so far, to kill one of their own Slayers. That was unbelievable!

 "Yes, I'm afraid so Buffy."

"Why?"

"They were afraid of the baby. There is a prophecy about a child. Another prophecy besides the one about Connor, it says if a child is born to a vampire that child will one day rule the earth." Wes took off his glasses, cleaned them before putting them back and continuing, "If a child is born from a vampire and a slayer, the child will…. Rule the Universe. The child will rule over all dimensions. They feared the child. The only way to kill it was before it could be born. They had to kill Sarah to kill the baby. The fastest way to kill a slayer is to break her will, her will to live!"

 Buffy was shocked that The Council could have done that. "Is there anymore?" 

"Not that I've found. I'll keep looking though."

"Thanks, did you find anything that would help Angel?" Buffy was hoping for a little good news right about now.

"Sorry, nothing yet, but I'm still looking." Wes sadly replied.

   "Thanks." She said quickly, turning to walk out the door. 

"We'll find away Buffy, I promise." And with that Buffy left.

  As she was leaving the office she heard Angel and Spike fighting in the other room. Buffy quickly ran to find out what was going on. When she got there, she found Angel pinning Spike to the wall with his game face on. Spike was in shock. "You  Lied  To  Me" he growled at Spike. "You are…."

"STOP!" Buffy screamed at him. She didn't know what was going on, but she was sure to find out. "What the hell are you doing Angel? Let Spike go!"

"No!" he growled, lifting Spike off the ground. 

She walked over to them, "Angel, you're going to let him go now." As she grabbed Angel's arm forcing him to put Spike down. "What's going on? Why are you two fighting?"

"He knows." Spike said hoarsely as he rubbed his throat.

"He knows what?" Buffy questioned. She looked into Spike's eyes, looking for an answer just hoping that he didn't mean last night.   

"He's knows about us." 

"Oh." She gulped. "Angel, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but …."

"You two came into my home, lied to me and then….and then you went behind my back. Doing it right across the hall from me, you didn't think I would find out. I heard you two all night and then again this morning. How dare you?" 

 "Angel, let me explain. I didn't want to tell you because I …I didn't know how I felt about him at first." Buffy stepped in between Spike and Angel. "I don't even know how it all started. All I know is that he makes me happy." She reached down, grabbing Spike's hand. "I love him."

Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing. Buffy the love of him life, and his grand childe, No this couldn't be happening. He wasn't going to let it happen. "Buffy can we talk… alone?" Angel's eyes were full of disbelief and anger.

Buffy looked back at Spike for a moment, then nodded. Spike didn't want to leave her there, but he know that they had unfinished business to attend to. He leaned forward in to her whispering, "I'll be right outside if you need me?" then kissed her on the forehead before leaving the room.

When Spike was out of the room, Buffy started to tell Angel the whole story about her and Spike, from the first time they kissed and everything that came after. Angel just got madder at the both of them. "Enough!" Angel growled. "I don't want to know anymore!"

"Angel, I'm sorry" Buffy sighed. "I didn't mean to lie to you or to make you mad. That's why we didn't tell you… But there's something you need to know… It was you how made me admit my feelings for Spike, you and Connor." She spoke in a quite gentle voice, not wanting to make him any madder. 

"What? How did we do that?"

"The night you called and told me about Connor. That night I was so upset, I found myself at Spike's. I don't even remember how I ended up there, but I guess it was what I needed. I told him my dreams for a normal life, a life I'll never have."

Angel was quite for a moment, he wasn't sure what to say. His anger slowly faded away, "Do you really love him, Buffy?" 

"Yes" Buffy answered. Angel could tell by the look in her eyes that she meant it. "I will always love you Angel, but it's different now. I'm not that sixteen year old girl you came to help anymore. I've grownup a lot. Especially after my mom died, I had to become a mother to Dawn not just a big sister. When I died Spike was there, he took care of Dawn for me, just like I asked. Then I came back, he was still there for Dawn at first and then for me as well. He's the only one I can talk to about my feelings. He understands what it was like for me, to die and than be brought back. He's the only one."  

She was happier that he had ever seen her. Angel wasn't too happy that it was Spike, but he was glad that she was happy. "He better not hurt you. If he does, I'll have to kill him." Angel's had calmed a little, but he was still reeling from the idea for Buffy and Spike together.            

"He won't." she told him turning away from him and started to leave. "I think it will be better if we go home early." She said as she shut the door behind her.

Spike had been pacing the floor of the lobby, waiting for her. "Spike, I think I want to go home now" was all she said to him when she past him to go upstairs and pack.

************

After Spike has gone up to pack his stuff and checked on Buffy. He comes down to say goodbye to Cordy and Connor. Cordy told him thing will work out in the end, that they would all find the happiness. They deserve it. She gave him back the cell phone form last night, and told him if they need them to just call. Spike told Cordy if they need any help to call as well. Spike decided it would be better to wait and tell Buffy about the phone once they were on the road.    

***********

Buffy told both, Cordy and Connor goodbye. She really loved Connor and doesn't want to leave, but can't stay. Meanwhile Spike packed the car to leave. It had started to rain, when Angel came out to have a little talk with Spike. "Spike" Angel barked.

"We're leaving Poof, so don't start."

 "If you hurt her in any way, I'll be there in a heartbeat and I'll kill you, just as quick. Got it!"  

"I would NEVER hurt her." Spike slammed the car door and walked back to get Buffy.

TBC….


	13. Family Matters

**Summery: Buffy and Spike are at Angel's. Buffy meets Connor and falls in love with him. She has had a talk with Angel, and asked Wes for some help and she has said the words Spike has longed to hear. **

**Rating: R******

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

**Disclaimer: You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it.**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**A/N: This is what I would like to happen in good old Sunnydale, but we all know that Joss would never let anybody be happy for very long. Dam him.  **

Thanks to all of you for the reviews. You keep me writing.

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Part XIII- Family Matters**

It was long and quiet ride most of the way home. Neither of them knowing quite what to say to the other, Buffy had taken a nap, listened to the radio and she still wasn't sure what to say to Spike. 'What do we do now, now that he finally knows how I really feel.' Buffy thought as the miles quickly passed by and they made their way back to Sunnydale. 

   Spike couldn't stand the silence it was driving him mad. The longer she remained silent the more he questioned their relationship; does she regret it, did she change her mind or did she not mean what she said? Finally Spike couldn't take it any more. "Buffy….is everything alright?" he questioned. 

"Fine, I was just thinking." She sighed. "The wedding is coming up; Dawn and I both have to get dresses. You know that kind of stuff."

"Oh ya, the whimp and Anya must be going nuts by now with all that bloody planning." He joked.

"I really haven't had the time to help or tried. I should see if they need my help when I get back, it's the least I can do."

For the back seat there came a muffled ringing. "What's that?" Buffy asked Spike as she turned in her seat. 

It took him a minute but then he answered, "The phone, it's in your top bag. Cordy gave it to me incase of an emergency." 

Buffy quickly grabbed the bag and riffled though it, until she found the phone. "Hello?" Buffy listened to the babbling voice on the other end for a moment. "She did what? You let her?" ……… "Oh she is sooooo dead when I get a hold of her! Where is she?" …………. "Ya, it's not far from here…….No, we'll go and get her you stay there in case she comes home first. See you soon. Bye." Spike wasn't sure what it was all about but he figured it had something to do with little sis. 

As Buffy hung up the phone he asked, "What she do this time?" and rolled him eyes.   

 "I swear I'm going to kill her this time." Buffy was so mad that she probably was going to do it. "She skipped school and went to some amusement park with most of her class. Does she ever stop and think of the consequences? I mean really, the social worker is already to take her way as is. Does she want that?" she snapped. 

"I don't think she thought of it that way, pet. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to get taken away." Spike says trying to sooth her.

"Well she keeps it up and she will!" Buffy snapped.

"Let's just go get her and hope the social worker doesn't find out." They drive to a small dive of an amusement park about 30 minutes outside of Sunnydale. Once inside the park they start to search for Dawn. Buffy was just getting madder the longer they searched. Madder at Dawn for skipping school but most of for not asking her, "Spike, you know if she had asked me I might have even said yes, but did she oh no!" She ranted.

"Don't think so." 

"I would have! If I know I could have covered for her. I remember what it was like, was fifteen once."

 "Yeah, you were Ms. Pompoms." He rolled his eyes "then you killed your first vamp."

"Spike! This is serous, Dawn is going to…….." Buffy's words were cut off by a sound of a gun fire. Buffy had only a moment of panic. Then they both started to run to where they heard the gun go off. Buffy was so scared that it was Dawn, she forgetting for a moment how mad she was at her. As they turn the corner they see Dawn on her knees, holding pressure on one of her friend's arms. "Dawn!" Buffy yelled and ran to her sister's side. Spike drove at the young man holding the gun, knocking him to the ground and the gun out of his hand. 

A few minutes later the paramedics had arrived, they tended to Dawn's wounded friend. Buffy finally gets a chance to talk to Dawn, "You all right?"  

 "Yeah, just a bit shaken, but they say Jen's going to be alright. It just grazed her shoulder." Dawn was scared. She didn't know how Buffy knew where she was. The one person she told, about coming here promised not to tell. But just the same she was glad that Buffy come when she did. "I'm sorry." Dawn pleaded with her sister giving her those puppy dog eyes.

"I'm glad you'll all right. But you're still grounded! If social services find out about this it's going to be a lot worse!" Spike came over to see if everything is ok once the park's security had taken the boy in to custody. 

************

"I still don't believe you didn't tell me about this." Buffy snapped at Dawn. 

"Like YOU would have let me go even if, I told you! HA!!" Dawn barked back. "Beside someone did know where I was! And he didn't mind me going!" Dawn let it slip, before she could stop herself. She knew they were going to catch hell for her mistake.

Buffy's eyes widened and she whipped her head towards Spike. "YOU know about this and you didn't tell me!!!" Her voice cut through him like a knife. 

"Sorry luv, she told me a few weeks ago. I forget about it." Spike was truly sorry about it. That he hadn't told her when Dawn had first told him, but he that it was innocent enough and the rest of her class was going. Spike tried to apologies to her the rest of the way home, but she wouldn't listen to him.

When they arrive home Buffy ordered Dawn to go to her room. Then turn her rage on Spike.

 "How dare you keep this from me! I can't believe that I trusted you. How can I love someone I can't even trust?" Buffy's voice was as cold as ever. All the love was gone. She felt lonely, hatred and betrayal. 

"Buffy will you just listen to me, please?" Spike pleaded.

"No, I have nothing to say to you. Just leave me alone. Go way and don't come back!" She said as she grabbed her bags and stormed off to the house. Spike just stood there, leaning against the car watching her leave. All his hope for them to be happy faded away as the distance between them grew greater. 'Well you're a bloody idiot  for not telling her' he said to himself as he climbed back into the car.

TBC….. 


	14. Emotions

**Summery: Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. Now Spike's done a really stupid thing. Will Buffy take him back?**

 **Rating: R******

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

**Disclaimer: You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it.**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**A/N: This is what I would like to happen in good old Sunnydale, but we all know that Joss would never let anybody be happy for very long. Dam him.  **

Thanks to all of you for the reviews. You keep me writing.

**A/N 2: A special thanks to Midnight's Shadow for Beta-ing and for being a friend- Thanks for everything! **

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Part XIV- Emotions**

A few days had gone by and Buffy is a little less mad at Spike and Dawn. 

She has gone back to work & slaying. Things were pretty normal in Sunnydale, the usual amount of demons and vampires. Social Services had found out about Dawn cutting school. The social worker had called and set up an appointment to visit them tomorrow. 

"Dawn! Get down here, you're going to be late for school. We don't need to give them anymore reasons!" Buffy yelled up the stairs.

"I'm coming!" Dawn yelled back as she flew down the stairs.

"Well it's about time." She mumbled.

"What did you mean, we don't need another reason?"

 "The social worker's coming tomorrow. All because of your little trip. If they take you away, it will be all your fault, not mine!" Buffy barked at Dawn.

"I hope they do! Then maybe some one will give a s**t about me!" Dawn grabbed her bag and took off for school.

"Fine be that way!" Buffy yells back but Dawn has already left.

***********

Later that day Buffy was at work when Tara comes by. "I'm taking my break.," she told them as she walked out from behind the counter. They went in the break room to talk. 

"How was the trip?" Tara asks.

"Good, Angel hasn't changed. Except for having Connor and maybe falling in love with Cordy. Connor was so cute, he looks a lot like his father. I just loved spending time with him. He made all the problems seem to fade away." Tara could tell be the way Buffy spoke and the look in her eyes she was really happy in LA.  

"Why did you come home early, if you were having such a good time?"

"Spike and Angel had a little fight so we decided to come home." 

"How … how are thing going with you and Spike?" Tara stuttered, not knowing if it was a subject that Buffy would want to talk about.

"Ok, I guess." She sighed. "Thing were going really good in LA. Then Dawn cut school and Spike knew about it. I can't believe that he keep it from me! How can I trust him if he keeps secrets from me like that? But the worst part is that Social Services know about it. They're coming for a visit tomorrow."

"Oh"

"I can't let them take Dawn away. I can't believe this is happening, why didn't he just tell me?" Buffy was almost in tears.

"Do you….you  love him?" 

"I thought I did, but know I'm not sure."       

"I think he was keeping a promise to Dawn. I don't think he meant to lie to you. He loves you too much to do that." Tara tried to comfort her friend with not much luck.

"What am I going to do if they take her?"

"I'm sure they won't take her. Things have a way of working out in the end." Buffy wasn't sure that Tara was right, but her break was over and she had to go back to work.

**************

After work Buffy went home and started to clean the house. She was existed, but she knew that if the social worker saw the house like it was, she would deem Buffy unfit in a minute. Willow came home from classes and  started to help Buffy get the house ready for tomorrow's appointment.

Dawn meanwhile was out of school, she was still made at Buffy for thinking that she wanted to be taken away. Dawn didn't want to deal with her sister right then. So she went to the one place she felt safe and know someone will understand her. Arriving at Spike's she knocked and walked right in. "Nibblet, what you doing here. Thought big sis grounded you." Spike was sitting in his old, brown chair watching his shows. 

Dawn went over and plopped down on the couch. "Yeah, well I'm running away. She won't even know I'm gone. She doesn't even want me there in the first place." Dawn huffed.

"You know that isn't true Bit. Your sis loves you. That's why she's so hard on you."

"Right. That's why she told me it's all my fault if the social worker takes me away."

"What? When did the social worker find out?" Spike sat up, he was getting a little concerned now. What if they really did take the bit? They can't take her, it would just devastate Buffy if they did.

"They called today. Someone's coming over tomorrow for a visit. Buffy's really mad and scared I guess." Dawn huffed it off, like it wasn't such a big deal but deep down in side she was terrified. 

"Dawn, she's scared of loosing you. You're the only family she's got left. Besides I don't think the social worker can take you away for doing something that the rest of your class did as well." Spike was trying to convince Dawn, as well as him self that they wouldn't take her away. He couldn't stand it if they did. He loved her like a little sister. He definitely couldn't bear to see what it would do Buffy. "Let me talk to her. I'll try to calm her down."

"Thanks, you always come through for me." She told him as walked over and gave Spike a hug.

"You can stay until its dark and then I'll walk you home."

************

A little while later back at the Summer's home. Buffy and Willow were almost done cleaning. When Willow asked Buffy, " Was Dawn going any place after school?"

"No ,why?" Buffy answered and then she realized that it was dark out. Way past the time for Dawn to be out.

Then hey heard someone coming in the back door. Dawn and Spike were laughing as they entered the hallway and there she was. Her arms crossed, foot tapping and the maddest looking face. "Where have you been?" She snapped.

"Don't get mad at her, Pet. She's been with me." Spike couldn't resist it. He just had to get in the middle.

"Dawn go to your room and do your homework. I'll deal with you later!" Buffy snapped.

 "I don't want to!" Dawn protested.

  "Go do your homework, Bit." Spike said  in a calm voice. Dawn gave him a  'fine' look and headed up the stairs.

 Buffy couldn't believe it. Spike only had to tell her and she did. What ever he said. She had to fight with her about everything . 'It's not fair' she thought to herself. "What was she doing at your place? She was supposed to coming straight home. She's is still grounded! Tomorrow the social worker is coming  and she'll probably take her away." Buffy walked past him and went into the kitchen, to start making dinner.

Spike trailed behind her and sat down at the counter, "That's why she came over. She was upset about it and the fight you two had."

"Spike, I'm trying but she acts like she wants to get taken away." 

"Don't think so luv, she wants to be here and she wants to spend more time with you." 

"That why she's doing this stuff?"

"Look you were fifteen once, remember all the stupid thing you did. She's just being a kid, Buffy. I know you're doing the best you can . Every things going to be all right. You're a good mum, they won't take her. You'll see."

"Thank you." she said in a calmer tone.

"How about I take patrol tonight? You can stay home and spend sometime with the Bit."

 "Thanks, I'd like that." Buffy walked over and kissed Spike on the check. Then he left.

*****************

 Dawn , Willow and Buffy sit down for a nice normal dinner for a change. 

After dinner Dawn promised Buffy she'll tell her more things. She went upstairs to finish her homework. Willow also went to her room after helping Buffy pick up from dinner. Buffy sat down to go through the mail. While sifting thought it, which was mostly bills she comes across one from LA. She opens it. 

                                                      Dear Buffy,

                                                      I thought you would like this. 

                                                        Cordelia  

Was all it said. But that's all it needed it say because inside was a picture of Buffy holding Connor. She sat there for a long time thinking about LA and how happy she was there. So much had changed in just a few day. As she sat there tears of joy and sorrow ran down her face. Willow came downstairs to get something to drink . She saw Buffy crying. "What's wrong?" Willow questioned, sitting down next to her. Willow got a look at the picture. "Oh."

"Cordy sent me this. I was so happy there. Everything was perfect, Cordy was with Angel and Connor. Spike and I were getting along great. Even Angel and Spike were getting alone until Angel found out about us." 

"What us? You and Spike?" Willow was surprised. She knew about Spike's feeling for Buffy, but didn't know that Buffy and Spike were together.

"Spike and I are," Buffy had to stop and collect her self before beginning again. "were together. He makes me happy. I was going to tell you when we came back, but thing got a little crazy around here."

"Are you two still together?"

" I don't know. Things have changed a little. He keep Dawn's secret from me. I'm not sure where we stand. It's killing me, not to him to talk about problems, but he's the problem. He's trying to make it up to me, but I don't know if he can. How can I trust him again after this?"

"Do you love him?"

 "I'm not sure, I thought I did before this happened."

TBC…..       


	15. Promises

**Summery:  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. Now Spike's done a really stupid thing. He is trying to make amends. Will Buffy take him back?**

 **Rating: R******

**Feedback: Yes Please!**

**Disclaimer: You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it.**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**A/N: This is what I would like to happen in good old Sunnydale, but we all know that Joss would never let anybody be happy for very long. Dam him.  **

Thanks to all of you for the reviews. You keep me writing.

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 15 - Promises**

The next morning Dawn, Willow and Buffy were getting ready for their day, Dawn, Willow had school, and Buffy had that social worker visit**. When social worker arrived, she wanted to do a walk through inspect of the house. Buffy could only hope that she approved.     **

"Well Ms. Summers, I see your sister is cutting school again." The social worker wasn't being very nice, but at least she wasn't as awful as the last one Buffy thought.

"I sorry about that. I can assure you that it won't happen again. Besides she wasn't the only one was at the amusement park, the whole class cut that day. Not that I'm condoning it." Buffy wanted to make her point that if she took Dawn away she couldn't base it on the fact that she cut school this one time. Maybe some of the others, but not this one.

"Well I hope it doesn't happen again, for your sake Ms. Summers. I see you have a job now."

Every time she said Ms. Summers Buffy cringed. She felt like she was twelve again and in trouble for something Dawn had done.  

"Yes I've been working there for over a month." Buffy reassured her. "And I'm going back to school next semester," she quickly added. 

"That's good Ms. Summers, education IS very important you know. Well everything seems to be going better now, but I'm still watching your case very closely."

As the social worker left Buffy breathed a sigh of relief and quickly headed upstairs to get ready for work. The visit had taken longer than she expected. If she didn't hurry, she'd be late for work. Buffy would have no time to celebrate the fact that they hadn't taken Dawn away.

*************

Later that day, after Buffy's shift at The Double Meat Palace, she changed her close and headed to the Magic Box to pick up Dawn. When she arrived Dawn was sitting at the table doing her homework with some help from Willow. Xander and Anya were at the counter trying to agree about plans for the wedding. "Hi guys." Buffy said happily.

"Hi Buff. Will you please tell Anya here, that it's not the end of the world if comber bums don't perfectly match the girls' dresses?"

"Xander!" Anya protested.

"I see the wedding plans are going good." Buffy jokes. She turned her attention to Dawn and Willow. "How's the homework coming Dawnie?"

"Pretty good now that Will's helping. Can we stay until I'm done? I think I almost get chemistry now."

"Dawnie lets try this one." Willow said, drawing the younger Summers attention back to her chemistry homework. 

"Fine, only if you do all your homework."

"Thanks." Dawn and Will went back to work.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Anya?" Buffy asked.

"Well you could help me figure out the seating arrangement, Xander's is not helping."

Buffy and Anya quickly went to work figuring out the seating arrangements. While Xander went to stock the shelves, and Dawn and Willow finish the rest of Dawn's homework. When everyone was finished they'd decide to order pizza for dinner. Later Buffy walked Willow and Dawn home before she went out for a quick patrol.

*****************

At the cemetery Buffy runs in to a few vamps. She'd made quick work of the young vamps. Spike had been watching her from a distance, just in case he's needed. He just loved to watch her. She was always so graceful when she moved. As she dusted the last one, she was suddenly brought to her knees by a severe unexpected headache. Spike ran to her side. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing I just have a headache, it's been a stressful day." Buffy quietly answered her head still in her hands.

"I think it's time to get you home, pet." 

Buffy just nodded. Then he helped her back to her house. Her headache was getting a little better. "Thanks Spike." She said softly. 

"Getting any better?"

"Yeah"

"How did the visit go this morning?"

"Well at least they're not going to take Dawn away, at least not know. But they'll be keeping a closer eye on us and Dawn's grades."

"Buffy I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Dawn's little outing when she told me. I know that Dawn's really sorry too. She promised me that she won't do that again. She really does want to stay and she's going to try harder in school."

"I know. Dawn and I had a talk last night. I'm sorry for getting so mad at you. I was just scared of loosing her."

"I know I was scared too."

When they arrive home Dawn was already sleep, and Willow was in her room. Buffy and Spike went to the kitchen and had a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows. "Spike I have something to show you." Buffy sounded serous.

"What?"   

"First I got a letter from Cordy yesterday. This was in it." She said handing the picture to Spike. 

Spike stared at it for a few minutes. He studied every line. A small tear comes to the corner of his eye. "We were really happy there, won't we?" he questioned.

 "Yeah. It was like we were on a different planet, where everything was perfect and nothing could touch us."

"I wish I hadn't keep Dawn's secret from you, I'm sorry. If I could go back and do it all over again I would tell you right away." Spike was truly sorry, for his mistake. Things between him ands Buffy were improving but they still weren't back to the way they were in LA. He wished they could go back to it once again.

"There's something else, Spike. Tara and Willow know about us. Tara has known for a while, even before we went to LA but Willow found out last night. When the letter came I was sitting her crying then Willow came down. We started talking about LA and everything that happened. She asked why we came home early and I told her that you and Angel got in to fight. I told her that Angel found out about us."

"How'd she take it?"

"She was a little surprised but she's took it pretty well."

They continued to talk for a while longer. Then Spike left, kissing her good night on the forehead before he left. Buffy was very tired and went to bed, still having a dull headache. 

During the night she had the same dream about Sarah and David again, but this time it's different. It started out the same Buffy is chained to the wall next to the Sarah. Spike is chained to the opposite wall next to David, then thing change. Sarah and David were gone. Buffy and Spike were the only two left. Spike was the bleach blond she knows and loves. When she looked down, she was the one who was pregnant, very pregnant. Then Angel came in and said exactly the same thing the Master said to Sarah and David. "Nothing ever good comes from a vampire in love." Buffy was startled awake in a cold sweat. She couldn't have fallen back to sleep even if she had wanted to. Those words echoed in her head, as she was lying awake, she tried to figure what the dreams meant, with no luck. She finally was able to drift off to sleep about an hour before her alarm went off.   

TBC…


	16. You Promise?

**Summery:_  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. Now Spike's done a really stupid thing. He is trying to make amends. Will Buffy take him back?_**

_ **Rating: R******___

**Feedback: Yes Please! I love it. **

**Disclaimer:_ You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. Just borrowed and had a lot of fun doing it._**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**A/N: Thanks to all of you for the reviews. You keep me writing.**

****

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 16 - You promise?**

 Saturday morning, Dawn, Willow, Tara, and Buffy were in the bridal shop for their final fittings. The dream was still plaguing Buffy, she can't seem to get it out of her mind. 

"Why do they have to make bridesmaids' dresses so ugly?" Buffy questioned as she came out of the dressing room, in a green fitted dress with ruffles at the bottom. 

"Yeah this makes me look like that stuff they put on the plate at the fancy restaurants." Dawn complained, looking at herself in the mirror.

"You mean the green leafy stuff nobody knows what to do with?" Tara added.

"Yeah" Dawn giggled.

"Kale, that stuff is called kale." Willow informed them.

"Will, I don't care what it's called, I just don't want to look like it. I feel like someone's leftovers." Dawn sighed and with that her and Willow went back into the dressing rooms to change.

"I know how you feel." Buffy mumbled. 

"You don't look good Buffy, you're pale. Are you felling ok?" Tara asked.

"I'm ok. I just have this headache that won't go away, and I didn't get much sleep last night, but I'll be fine." She looked paler than usual; Tara could plainly see how tired she was.

A look of concern crossed Tara's face as she asked, "How long have you been having them?"

"Since we come back, I think it's just stress from everything that's been going on."

"Buffy, you've had them to long to be just stress. I think you should go get it checked out. What if it's like….your mom's problem?" Tara hated to bring up the subject, but know if it was something serous that she couldn't wait.

"I'll make an appointment for Monday." She promised.

*******************

Later, back at home Buffy got a call from Wesley. He thought he might have found a cure for Angel. The only problem was the spell required a strong witch and since Willow had quit magic. They decide that Tara was the one to ask. Wes will get the stuff they need when they come for the wedding in a few days. All Buffy would have to do is ask Tara. They thought it was best if they wait to tell Angel at the last possible moment. If he knew what they were planning to do, he might not let them. After the phone call she headed to Tara's to ask her and Tara was willing to try. 

 On the way home, Buffy walked through the cemetery for a quick patrol. Not much was going on yet it was only a little after sunset. As she approached Spike's crypt four vamps jump out at her. The first three were no problem she dusted them easily. As she turned the last vamp attacked her from behind, knocking her to the ground. Pinning her up against a tombstone, "I always wanted to taste a slayer" he said. Then plunged his fangs into her neck and she screamed. Spike heard her and came running. Before the vamp knew it he was flying though the air, landing on top of a tombstone three rows over. Spike had a hold of him by the collar, "Don't you ever touch her!" he growled and plunging a stake though his heart. 

Spike walked back over to where Buffy was asked, "Are you ok?" She shook her head 'no' still trying to catch her breath. Her hand was cupping her neck while blood trickled down her thin fingers. "Bloody hell, he bit you! If he wasn't already dust, I'd stake him… Let's get that taken care of."

Spike hold out his hand to help her up. As she tried to stand she wobbled, causing him to have to pull her closer to him and steady her. "You don't look so good, Luv. Are you still having those headaches?" 

"Yeah, that's how he got me,"

"Maybe you should have somebody check it out. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I promise I'll call the doctor on Monday." 

He helped her back to the house where they fix her wound. Sitting on the bed in Buffy's room she told him about the last dream, she had had about Sarah and David. "But this time it was different." She explained.

"Different, how?"

"It started out the same Sarah and I chained to one wall. You and David chained to the other one. Then Sarah and David were gone."

"Gone? Gone where?'"  
  


"I don't know they just disappeared. You were you, now. Not William. I was …." She paused trying to figure out a way to explain her dream. The though of her being pregnant brought emotions that came with it. Not knowing an easier was to tell him about the dream she continued. "And I was pregnant…..Very pregnant like Sarah was." Spikes eyes widened. He wasn't just shocked, there was that hopeful glimmer in his eyes that someday maybe. But the sound of Buffy's voice brought him back for his dream like state to the present. "Angel was there too. He said _'Nothing ever good comes from a vampire in love!' "Spike was speechless, he just stared at Buffy. " Spike what does this mean?"_

He just stared at her for another moment. Finally being able to speak again his voice came out shaky, "I don't know. Maybe we should consult the witches on this one?"

"I'll ask Willow in the morning." Buffy yawned. 

"You're tired, pet. Why don't I go and you can get some sleep?"

"No Spike. I want you to stay."

"What about the Bit?"

"I don't think she'll mind. Besides she's going to find out sooner or later." 

"You sure?'

"YES, Spike I'm sure. I don't care who knows. All I care is you stay. Don't leave. Don't ever leave."

"I won't. I promise."

TBC…


	17. A Little Miracle

**_Summery:__  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. Some of the Scoobies know about them. A prophecy about Connor leads to a discovery of another one, the second prophecy of a child. What does it have to do with Spike and Buffy and is Angel part of it? Oh ya, lets not forget about the upcoming wedding and the whole LA gang coming to Sunnydale. Will Wes's cure work on Angel, for all their sakes lets hope so.   _**

_ **Rating: R******___

**Feedback: Yes Please! I live for it. Good or bad, constructive criticism fine but, please don't trash. This is my 1st fiction.**

**Author: scarletrose at scarletr@localnet.com**

**Disclaimer:_ You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. Just borrowed._**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**A/N: Sorry it took a little longer than expected but I think it was worth it, this version is better that the one I originally wrote. **

Sorry everyone, but I promise chapter 24 is coming soon. I just want to finish the rewriting of these last few chapters. Then the new stuff will be coming.  

**Have fun, I did writing it.**

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 17- A Little Miracle**

**_ Monday morning just as the sun started caressing the horizon._**

 For the second morning on a row, Spike quietly slipped out of bed and left. Leaving a note where he once laid. With a deep sigh, he leaned back against the wall of the crypt. He hated leaving before she awoke, but still he didn't want the Nibblet to find out that way. She needed to be told before he would stay until morning.

Buffy slowly opened her eyes, she couldn't feel his cooling presents next to her anymore. Rolling over she saw his note of love he had left behind. Taking in a deep breath, she could still smell his aroma and knew he hadn't been gone long. Buffy ran her hand over the pillow, feeling his cooling comfort. She took another deep breath wanting him, back curled up next to her. Slowly she unfolded the note. The simple, but elegant handwriting still amazed her. 

                                                          Sorry I had to go, pet.

                                                           Call the doctor this morning,

                                                           And tell Dawn today, please.  

                                                  I can't stand leaving anymore.

                                                          Love you. See you later.

She had to tell Dawn this was killing her. "I'll tell her this morning over breakfast," she said softly to herself.

*************

Showered Buffy made her way down to make breakfast. A few minutes later, Dawn came down and sat on a stool at the island, watching Buffy happily humming as she made pancakes. 

"Hey Dawnie, what kind of syrup do you want?" Buffy happily chimed, pilling another pancake on to of the heaping plate. 

"What's wrong Buffy? The last time we were 'Summers' International House of Pancakes' it wasn't good." She knew her sister. Cooking was never the norm when it came to Buffy nor was it a good idea. 

"Nothing's wrong Dawnie. I just wanted to make you a good breakfast before school." Buffy smiled sliding a plate full in front of Dawn. 

"Yeah right. What's going on?" She mocked giving her that I know your hiding something look.

"Ok." Buffy sighed. "You know me too well… Dawn, I have something to tell you…I'm … I'm with….", "God this is harder than I thought it would be." She mumbled, trying to muster the courage to tell Dawn her feelings. _'No, I have to do this. I can't stand another morning waking up without him.' She thought. Buffy lifted her head up and said "Dawn, Spike and I are together!" there that wasn't so bad, she thought._

"I know." Dawn said matter a factly. "Tell me something I don't know?" 

"I love him!" She answered with a smile.

"I knew that too!" now she was getting annoying.

"Well, what don't you know, Miss Smarty pants?"

          "When you two finally got together?"

          "Remember the night that I stayed out all night fighting demons?"

"That long ago?" Dawn gasped. She couldn't believe she keep this so long.

Nervously biting her lip, Buffy continued to admit her feeling, "Well, that was our first time we umm… But I think we both have had feelings for each other before that. Long before that."

"Last year, when Glory beat him up?" Dawn made it more of a question that a statement. 

"Yes. Probably even before that." She sighed, "I didn't just wake up one morning and decide. ' Hey I think I want to fall in love the Big Bad today.' I mean it took me a long time to think of him as a friend. Let alone think of him as a lover. I didn't want to admit my feelings for him last year. It took me dieing, for me to realize how much I cared for him."

"So what took you so long to tell me? You know how I feel about him. Did you really think I would get mad or disapprove? Come on Buff, I love both of you! This is the best news I've heard since Xander and Anya announced they were getting married."

Buffy couldn't help but smiled at her baby sister "Thanks"

"For what?"

"For being you." She said, giving Dawn a big hug. "Thank for understanding."

"What's to understand, I'm happy that you're with Spike. Maybe you two will be the next to get married?"

 "Ok Dawnie, let's not push it. I think it's time for you to go to school." She chuckled.

"Ok" with that Dawn bounded happily up the stairs. As soon was out of sigh Buffy glazed at the clock, _well time to call the doctors she thought. _

**********

          Sitting in a cold, bright room with white walls, in a hospital gown, feet dangling over the edge was driving her crazy. The ten minutes since the nurse drew blood seamed like ten years. She couldn't stand it anymore. '_They said it would only be a few minutes for the preliminary blood work to be done. now it's been 10, no 11 minutes 'she thought looking at her watch. "What's taken so long?" she muttered._

The door opened and the doctor walked in. "Well Ms. Summers, we've found the cause of your headaches." Buffy just stared, not sure if she really wanted to find out. She was finally happy with her life, for the first time in a very long time. Willow and Tara were back together, Xander and Anya were getting married in a few days, Dawn and her weren't fighting and then there was her relationship with Spike. '_God, does he even know how much I love him? How good he makes me feel?' Her thoughts were interrupted by the doctor's voice, "You see this is a common problem." He reassured her._

_'Common problem? What was a common problem, the headaches that brought her 'The Slayer' to her knees? 'Buffy's face must have looked puzzled because the doctor explained. "Changes in a woman's hormones sometimes result in headaches and sometimes they can be severe. I don't think you should be worried MS. Summers. The first few months are the worst. Your body goes though a lot of changes." _

"What's causing changes in my hormones?" she said out loud but in head she was thinking, _'What do you mean changes in my body?' _

"Oh my nurse didn't tell you?" he questioned. All Buffy could do was shake her head 'no'. "Ms. Summers you're pregnant." Her eyes widened and mouth dropped. She couldn't believe it. '_She couldn't be, could she? The only one she had been with was Spike. He was a vamp, but David was a vamp too and Sarah had gotten pregnant'. _

"Ms. Summers, it says here you don't know when your last menstrual cycle was. Can you try to remember it's very important? "

"I haven't had a normal one since, last fall but I think I had one somewhere around Christmas." She hadn't even thought about it. With Spike she didn't have to worry he was a vamp, _their 'seeds' are died right? Or that's what she thought. Angel had a son, but he was some prophecy, David well, he and Sarah were a prophecy too. But Spike, no it can't be. Suddenly the dream from the other night came flooding back over her. No, no it not. I can't. This baby can't be the prophecy. I can't let her die.' Her thought were screaming in her head. _

"Ms. Summers are you ok?" the doctor asked polity, handing her a tissue. 

"I'm fine. Just surprised," she said as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

"I think you should see a gynecologist right a way, since you don't exactly know when your last period was its very important. If it's too late in your pregnancy, your options will be limited."

"No! I don't want that. I mean I want this baby."

"Well then, you really need to see someone very soon. Do you have one?"

"NO, can you suggest a good one?" Buffy sheepishly asked.

"Well my wife is an OB/GYN. I could see if her office could fit you in soon. That is if you would like me too?"

"Yes please. I want start this baby's life off right. "She hadn't even noticed her hand had been gently placed on her abdomen ever since the doctor had told her, the doctor had noticed. 

"Why don't you get dressed and I'll see what I can do about getting you in? Maybe even today?"  

_'A baby. Wow!' she thought all the time was getting dressed. Now standing at the reception desk as the nurse made an appointment, "Ms. Summers, could you make a 5:45 appointment today?"_

"Yes"

"That will be fine… Buffy Summers… Age 21… yes I'll send the report over to you… ok I'll tell her, thanks for fitting her in. Bye." As she hung up she told Buffy the address along with a bunch of other stuff that she didn't even hear. She was still in awe over the whole idea of a baby. 

"Here I wrote it all down for you." the nurse couldn't help smile at the beautiful, starry eyed, young women in front of her. "I remember the first time I was pregnant, I didn't remember anything after the doctor told me either. Now just remember to drink 30 oz. of water before you go. They want to do an ultrasound today. Good luck and Congratulations."

"Thanks." Buffy smiled taking the paper.

*************

 Buffy walked around in a daze for a few minutes, just thinking. _'A Baby. A baby, my baby, our baby. Wow. Still can't get over it.' "Boy is your Daddy going to be surprised." Buffy whispered as she rubbed her stomach. __'How am I going to tell him? Will he even believe me? I don't care if he believes me right now, I only care that you're all right. We'll have time to about its later.' She reassured herself. As Buffy approached the crypt she tried to come up with a way to tell Spike about their little miracle growing inside. _

TBC…

****


	18. Denial

**_Summery:__  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. Some of the Scoobies know about them. A prophecy about Connor leads to a discovery of another one, the second prophecy of a child. What does it have to do with Spike and Buffy and is Angel part of it?   Oh ya, lets not forget about the upcoming wedding and the whole LA gang coming to Sunnydale. Will Wes's cure work on Angel, for all their sakes lets hope so.   _**

_ **Rating: R******___

**Feedback: Yes Please! I live for it. Good or bad, constructive criticism fine but, please don't trash. This is my 1st fiction.**

**Author: scarletrose at scarletr@localnet.com**

**Disclaimer:_ You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM.  I just like playing in their dimensions for a while –Thanks. _**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**Note: Thanks Midnight's Shadow. You're the best, luv! I couldn't have written this chapter without you. Hope you like how it turned out.  **

****

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 18 -Denial**

 She knocked at the door of the crypt then walked in. "Well? Did you go to the doctors?" Buffy nodded her head yes. "What are the headaches about, pet?" Spike asked walking in front for her, putting his arms around her waist. 

"I'm fine. They're nothing to worry about." She said with a big smile, pulling him closer and passionately kissing him.

After a few moments Spike pulled away just enough to see her face, "What was that for? I mean, I'm not complaining but what's going on?"

"Nothing, I just missed you. I was hoping that this morning you would be there when I woke up." Buffy answered, while taking his hand leading them to the sarcophagus. She hopped up on the edge to look him in the eye. Pulling Spike along with her, with him in between her legs, his hands around her waist.  

"Sorry. I didn't want Bit to find out that way." Spike said softly as he ran his hand along the waistband of her jeans. 

"Do you love me?" She whispered, just having to know for sure before she told his. But _her heart screamed 'TELL HIM'._

"What kind of question is that, of course I LOVE YOU, always have and always will!" 

"Promise you won't leave?" she pleaded. _'Tell him already' _

"I promise I won't leave. What ever this is we'll face it together." Cupping his hand against her cheek so he could search her eyes, trying to figure out how bad the situation was. 

Buffy cleared the knot in her throat. Placed her hand onto of his, gently moving it around to her abdomen. "Spike, I'm pregnant," She whispered. He stood there in shock for a moment, a moment which seemed like a life time to Buffy. She watched in horror as Spike stumbled backwards with a look of shock, fear, and anger crossed his face.

"Why in bloody hell are you telling me this, slayer?" his voice ripped though the air, just like he use to rip through his victims. She could feel the demon raging under his human surface. _'Well not what I wanted, but I can deal with it. Just have to calm him down. Then we can talk about this.' She thought to herself. _

"Because I thought you would be happy," She said in a soft soothing voice. She jumped down and started to walk towards him. He continued to step backwards the closer she came. "I guess I was wrong!" she cried. 

"You thought I would be happy to find out that you've been cheating on me! Well I'm NOT!!"

"What! You think I've cheated on you? How could you even think that? THIS IS YOUR CHILD!"    

"I'm a vampire, slayer or have you forgotten that? I can't have kids, remember!"

"Well it's yours! Besides I know of two other vampires who have or had a kid. Who's to say that you can't?"

"They were both part of prophecies. This is JUST a MISTAKE!" he emphasized the last part as he pointed to her stomach.

"You bastard! This baby is a miracle not a mistake. I can't believe you ….you could be so cruel to your own child." She sobbed running out of the crypt. 

"It's NOT mine" he shot back, watching the women he loved flee. Spike's heart sank. His life, his world was crashing down around him. Buffy was pregnant and he know it couldn't be his. _After all I'm a vampire, we don't have kids, right?   _

She ran all the way home, flew upstairs and hid in her room not wanted to face the world. Curling into a small ball on her bed and running her hand over her stomach. "It's ok little one. I don't care what your daddy says you're not a mistake. Even if he doesn't love you, you will be loved. There are lots of people who will be around for you, who will love you. I promise you." 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike had been pacing back and forth in the crypt since Buffy stormed out. He couldn't stop, he tried to sleep, to read, and even watch TV-'Passions' was on, but nothing worked. All he could think about was the fight. "Stupid bint! How dare she come in here and tell me that it's my baby. God, do you really think I'm that dumb? I am vampire for Christ sake, I can't have kids!!! When I find the bastard that knocked her up I'm going……I'm going to rip him apart."  '_I don't even care if I still have thing bloody chip in my head. I don't even care if it kills me. All I care about is that he's dead and he can't touch her ever again.' _

 "She's my slayer and no one has the right to touch her!" He ranted. 

_'Got to get her out of my mind, I have to get out of this place, she's everywhere in here. Maybe if I get out of here, I can get way for her, just clear my mind of all this' he thought. "Yeah, that's it I go kill something that always makes me feel better." With that he went to the lower chamber and out into the catacombs, in search of a few demons._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later there was a soft knock at the door. "Buffy are you in there?" but there was no response. Tara could hear crying coming from the other side of the door, she slowly push the door open. Buffy was curled up on her bed, knees to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, her head down. She was sobbing, rocking back and forth. Tara came over and sat down on the bed beside her. "What's wrong sweetie? Is it the headaches again?" Buffy only shook her head 'no' without lifting it. "Does this have anything to do with your doctor's appointment today?"

"Yes and No" she mumbled between sniffles. 

"What happened? What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant." and she started to cry once more.

"Don't cry sweetie. This is good news. Isn't it?"

"I thought it was; now I'm not sure. I was really happy when the doctor told me. I mean this is a miracle, I never thought I would ever get a chance to have a baby. I'm a slayer. We die young and never get a chance to live a normal life." She sighed, her cries having almost subsiding. "I was stupid to think that he would be happy…..that he would love us." Buffy started to cry again, this time even harder than before. 

"Spike doesn't want you to have the baby?" Tara questioned as she rubbed her back, trying to calm her friend. 

"No, he accused me of cheating on him and….and doesn't believe it's his. He….he called the baby a mistake." Buffy was now hysterically crying now. The thought of Spike calling the baby a mistake was too much for her to bear. 

"Oh Buffy" Tara started to rub her back once again. "I don't think he meant it, he's just su…surprised."

"No, he meant it. How could I ever think he could love anybody but himself?"

"He does love you an… and he'll love this baby too, you'll see."

"I don't think so. I don't care. I'm having this baby with or without him." She said rubbing her hand lovingly over her stomach. Tara could see the overwhelming love Buffy had for her unborn child. She knew if Buffy had to. She could, raise this child by herself but she won't have to. 

"Do you know when you're due?" Tara smiled as she asked.

 "No, I have an appointment with the gynecologist later today."

 "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Thank, I'd like that. I could really use a friend right now. I thought I was going to have to do this alone after what happened earlier."

"You're not alone Buffy. We're all here for you. That won't ever change. Things will get better, I promise."

"Thanks Tara. I know you're right, but it still hurts."

   Tara stood "Why don't you get some rest before your appointment. I'll wake you up in time to get ready. I have to run to the Magic Box quick, but I'll be back in plenty of time."

"I am tired" she yawned. "Can you get me up around 4:30? The appointment is at 5:45."

"Sure. Now get some rest, you both need it." Tara leaned down and gave Buffy a hug. Then turned to leave, "Tara" Buffy called out to her, causing Tara to stop and turn back. "Please don't say anything about the baby, yet. Xander and Anya don't know about Spike. I think they have enough to worry about with the wedding." She pleaded. 

"I woo…won't I'm just getting the supplies for the spell and a few more books for research….the prophecies."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The sound of the bell ringing drew Anya's attention away from the customer she was waiting on. "Hey Anya" Tara said making her way to the private collection of books in the loft. Looking for the ones she needs. When Anya was finished with the customer, she came over to meet Tara. "I need to borrow a few books."

"Which ones do you need?"

"A few Watchers journals and this" Tara told her climbing down the stairs, in her hand was The Brekenkreak Grimmlor. Anya curiosity got the best of her as usual, and she asked what this was all about. The book Tara had, contained unusual spells, cures and curses, mostly to do with vampires and the undead. It was the same one they had used to bring Buffy back. Finally she couldn't stand it any more, "What's all this for?"

"Research"

"Research?" Anya questioned.

"Connor" she whispered "you know…prophecy."

"Oh"…… "Do you need anything else?"

"Y…..Yes these." Tara handed her a list of things she needs for the spell. Anya looked it over for a moment, and then walked back behind the counter "I think I've got everything." Anya gathering the items, "I'll need to go downstairs. I'm all out of Blabber Root and Hell's Bain." 

Just then the bell over the door rang and Dawn came in from school. "You're just in time Dawnie. Can you watch the shop for a minute? I need to get some things downstairs." She added as Tara and she disappear down the basement stairs. 

"Fine." Dawn sighed, rolling her eyes. "Like there's anyone to wait on."            

"Tara, what's all this for? This isn't the normal stuff you get. Is it for a different kind of spell?"

"Y…Yes, but you can say anything to anyone." 

"I won't. What kind of spell?"

"Even Xander."

"Fine, now what's all this about?"

"Buffy had Wesley find a spell to reverse Angel's curse."

"Isn't that bad, I mean Angelus bad."

"N…..No …….Oh no, to remove the curse but to restore his soul, permanently."

"Oh that." Anya's eyes widen "I thought that spell had been destroyed years ago." 

"Wes looked really hard to find it."

"Where did he get it?"

"Not sure. We don't even know if he's going to let us do it."

Anya moved a few larger jars out of her way to reach for the jar in back. "You haven't even asked him yet?" She questioned handing her a jar of Hell's Bain, "here."

"No, Buffy wants to wait 'til they get here, for the wedding. She thinks she can convince him better face to face. If that doesn't work she play a guilt tip on him, she'll even use the baby if she has."

Anya continued to move a few more jars and found the Blabber root. "I see Spike's been here, well at least this time he left me cash." She added picking up the jar and cash. Then they head for the stairs. "Do you think she'll have to?"

"Not sure." 

As he heard the door to the basement close, Spike stepped out of the far, dark corner, "ANGEL" he growled threw clinched teeth.

TBC…      


	19. With or Without You

**_Summery:__  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. Some of the Scoobies know about them. A prophecy about Connor leads to a discovery of another one, the second prophecy of a child. What does it have to do with Spike and Buffy and is Angel part of it? Buffy has found out she is pregnant and has told Spike. His reaction isn't what she expected and defiantly not what she wanted. The wedding is drawing closer and guests will be coming to Sunnyhell soon._**

_ **Rating: R******___

**Feedback: Yes Please! I live for it. Good or bad, constructive criticism fine but, please don't trash. This is my 1st fiction.**

**Author: scarletrose at scarletr@localnet.com**

**Disclaimer:_ You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. I just like playing in their dimensions for a while –Thanks. _**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**Note: A special thanks to Midnight's Shadow. You're the best.****__**

****

**Hope, Dreams and Miracles**

**Chapter 19 -With or Without You**

"And right here is the heart beat." The doctor said pointing to the fluttering spot on the monitor. Buffy felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of her unborn child, God what she wouldn't do to have Spike here with her, to see their child. If he could see her, growing inside, he would know that she was his and no one else's. 

"Everything seems fine Ms. Summers. You appear to be about six weeks. You can get dressed and we'll talk." Tara watched Buffy not wanting to disturb her thoughts, "I'll wait outside." She whispered then turned and left.

Buffy sat there for a moment, just looking at the first picture of her child, their child, "God dam you, Spike" she sighed. "Why can't you just trust me," She set the ultrasound image down and got dressed. Opening the door she saw Tara waiting for her. They made their way to the office where the doctor was on the phone. She motioned them to come in. Tara and Buffy walked in, sat down and waited for her. 

"Well Ms. Summers you have a few options." The doctor said as she hung up the phone.

"NO I want the baby!" She had to make that clear before the doctor could say another word. "Sorry" Buffy said trying to calm herself down, "I want to keep the baby, I've already made up my mind to keep it."

"Ok then this book will be your best friend for the next few months." The doctor said, handing her, While Your Waiting. "It looks like your due date is October 15th. What symptoms have you been experiencing?"

"I've had some really bad headaches, but nothing else." 

"Well you seem to have gotten out of it pretty easy so far. In the next few weeks your symptoms could get worse. You could experience morning sickness, backaches, mood swings, swelling and tenderness of your breasts, and the headaches could get worse. You could also suddenly start craving food you don't like and weird combinations of foods. You should read the book, it will help you answers many questions and concerns you might have before the next appointment."

"I didn't know I'd have to study for this." Buffy muttered, placing her hand on her stomach and smiled. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, like if she didn't hold or touch her stomach she wasn't complete. It calmed her to know, that something so small was growing inside of her. Like she could face all the bad things in the world could throw at her and nothing could harm her. "Thank you, Dr. Nicholas."

"You welcome Ms. Summers. I'll see you in a month, if you have any problem before, that don't hesitate in calling, even if it seems minor."

As Tara and Buffy walk to the car Tara could see that Buffy had never been happier in her life, but there was something else. "Are you ok? You haven't said much since we left."

"I'm fine." She sighed. She was still trying to figure out her own feelings. She couldn't explain them to any one. _'It's amazing. This tiny thing's going to be a baby, wow. I'm going to be a mother; I'm going to be your mother. I'm going to be a lousy mother; I can't even take care of Dawn. How can I take care of you? And without you father?' "I can't do this," as tears swelled in her eyes. _

"Yes, you can Buffy." Tara knew what she was thinking. "You're going to be a great mom and Spike will come around. You'll see. He does love you."

As they left for the Magic Box, Buffy could only hope that Tara was right. That Spike would believe her and except the baby for what it was. "Tara after we pick up Dawn, could you stay with her until Willow gets home. I need to do a quick patrol and its willows late night."

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go on patrol…..the baby?"

"Tara, I have no choice. If I don't patrol for a few months, the demons around here will know some things up. I don't need things to get worse around here." 

"Than ask Xander or some one to help. Just don't go alone. It's not safe for you or the baby."

"I can't ask any one to help. I can't tell them about the baby, not yet. I'll be careful, it's just a quick sweep. Besides it's been quite lately." _ ' I wish Spike could help, I always fell safer when he backs me up.' She thought. _

"Maybe I could come with you? I mean after Willow comes home, I could make an excuse and go with you. No one would know." 

"I'll be fine. I don't want to endanger you. Willow would kill me if anything ever happened to you."

"Buffy you're not going alone. Either I go with you, or Spike does." Buffy had never seen Tara so determined before. She knew that she meant it. 

"Fine, you can go. We'll have to wait until Willow's last class gets out. She should be home around 8."

"How about we go to dinner after we get Dawnie?"

"Sounds good"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike was still reeling. The whole thing in the Magic Box was whirling around in his head, the word, Angel, baby, cure, permanent soul lingered. The thought of his Slayer and her ex-lover was more than he could bear. He struck a blow at the vamp in front of him. He ducked as the vamp retaliated with a right hock "That ungrateful bint, always knew she never loved me, all she ever done was play me. Fine, if you rather be with the great brooding poof than me, JUST GO!" he shouted, staking the badly beaten vampire. Watching him turn to dust, like the ten others before him and the four dead demons before that. Their bodies still scattered around him, he stormed off with the still overwhelming urge to kill something. 

Spike hadn't gone more then a few steps before he could feel her presents. Under normal circumstances he would welcome the tingling feeling down his spine, but not tonight. He was almost afraid to see her. Afraid of what he might say or do with the new information he had. 

"Great, just what I need to make my day complete." Buffy muttered. She could feel the little hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and the tingling feeling that went straight threw her body could only mean one person. Tara shout her, a 'what' look. 

"Spike". 

"Slayer" he growled threw clinched teeth, stalking toward them. Buffy saw the demons' corpses scattered around behind him. She knew if he had killed all of them tonight' that it wasn't going to be a good. "Go away! I don't want to get into this with you right now!" she snapped. 

"Thought you'd be cuddling up with the poof, in baby 'friggin bliss." His words stung. 

"SPIKE DON'T START! I'm not in the mood."

"Oh, so he doesn't want the brat either?"

The word brat did it. Buffy sprang at Spike pinning him to the wall of a nearby mausoleum. "Don't you EVER call our child a brat! She is a gift, an unbelievable gift and if you can't see that than….than you don't deserve it be in her life. I can and will raise her by myself, if I have to! WE DON'T NEED YOU or any other man in our lives."  

Spike starting to laughed, "yeah, that's why you want Glenda here, to cure Angel from a cursed soul?'

"What? How do you even know about that?"

"So, it's true? You do want to free his soul from the Gypsy's curse." 

"Yes I do. But not for the reason you think. I'm doing it for Connor."

"Don't think so, pet. You're doing this for yourself."

"NO, I AM NOT!" she screamed, an incredible rage shoot through her as she pushed him into the wall harder. Suddenly a pain ripped through her abdomen. Bring her to her knees. Spike stood there in shock and horror watched her collapse to the ground. _'What's happening? Is she all right? Is there something wrong with the baby? ' His mind was over whelmed with the thoughts of  something  happening to her or their child._

Tara saw the look of concern on his face. But she could also see the pain that Buffy was in and knew that he had caused it. "I think you better go." She told Spike. Spike's heart ached seeing her in so much pain, and knowing he might be the reason was killing him. He wanted to stay, wanted to take it all back, wanted to make the pain go away but most of all just wanted to hold her. "GO SPIKE, JUST GO!" Tara yelled. Knowing he was only making her pain worst, he ran towards the crypt. 

Tara ran to Buffy's side "Is it the baby?" she asked rubbing her back, trying to help ease the pain. Buffy nodded, not trusting her voice. "We need to get you to the hospital Buffy. There could be something wrong the baby."

"No, she's ok, the pain is going away."

"We need to get you home at least.' Tara told her as she helps her up. A wave of nausea comes over Buffy as she stood.

TBC….

      ****


	20. Missing- Part 1

**_Summery:__  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. Most of the Scoobies know about them. A prophecy about Connor leads to a discovery of another one, the second prophecy of a child. What does it have to do with Spike and Buffy and is Angel part of it? Buffy has found out she is pregnant and has told Spike. His reaction isn't what she expected and defiantly not what she wanted. The wedding is drawing closer and guests will be coming to Sunnyhell soon._**

_ **Rating: R******___

**Feedback: Yes Please! I live for it. Good or bad, constructive criticism fine but, please don't trash. This is my 1st fiction.**

**Author: scarletrose at scarletr@localnet.com**

**Disclaimer:_ You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. I just like playing in their dimensions for a while –Thanks. _**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**Note:   A special thanks to Midnight's Shadow. You're the best.****__**

****

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles _**

**_Part XX-Missing- Part 1 _**

The next morning – Tuesday

Buffy still on the cold tile floor of the bathroom were she had been since she arrived home last night. Feeling exhausted she decided it was better to stay there, then to have to only run back in after a few minutes. Buffy had convinced Tara to go to bed and that she was all right, that it was only morning sickness and nothing else. Willow and Dawn was very concerned as well. They had stayed up most of the night with Buffy as well. She had played it off as a side effect of the headaches she had been having. Buffy had closed her eyes, catching an hour or two of broken sleep during the night. As she awoke, she was starting to feel better the nausea was almost gone. She went into her room and lay down on the bed.

 A few minutes later there was a knock on the door, Willow walked in." How  you feeling?"

"Better" she answered, not moving a muscle. 

"Buffy this isn't just headaches is it...you're pregnant aren't you?"

  Buffy was speechless, she didn't know how to tell her best friend, Willow was a lot calmer then she had expected her to be. "Yes" she muttered. 

"Is it Spike's?"

Ok, now Willow was going to give her the third degree and she wasn't ready for this, she just wanted to get some sleep. Her whole body ached, but she thought if she told her all of it, she might get another hour of sleep before having to get ready for work. "Yes, its Spike's baby and he knows. He doesn't believe me thou, he thinks I've cheated on him…..and with Angel. We had a fight about it. Last night when I want out, I ran in to him and we had another fight. It got bad Willow, I said things I don't mean and he said thing that were mean, I don't know if he meant them or not but they hurt." 

Buffy and Willow continued to talk about baby and the fights that she had with Spike. Willow couldn't believe Spike could be so cruel to Buffy, especially after the conversations she had had with him about his feelings about Buffy, all the research he had done about the prophecies and the way he felt about Connor. Willow had gone to see Spike after she found out about his relationship with Buffy. She wanted to clarify some things that were said while they were doing research. Buffy also told her the plan to cure Angel from the curse, and that they were going to do the spell when Angel can for the wedding in a few days.  

Neither of them knew that Dawn had been listening outside Buffy's door, just out of view. She could believe that her sister could hide something so important, so wonderful from her. She also couldn't believe Spike could be so pig headed about this. The sound of Dawn slamming her hand against the wall drew their attention from the conversation they were having. They both got up and walked to the hall there they saw Dawn. "Dawn how much did you here?" Buffy gasped. Realizing that her little sister had been standing outside her room listening.

"You're pregnant?" Dawn snapped. "You're pregnant and you didn't even tell me. You talk about trust and not keeping secrets from each other, but you did."

 "Dawnie, I was going to tell you. I just found out yesterday. Please don't be mad, I can't handle anybody else mad at me." 

"So, is it Spike's or Angel's?" Dawn demanded.

"Dawn how can, you even ask me that, you know how I feel about Spike. I love him and of course it's his baby. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you yesterday, it's been really crazy. I've been trying to convince Spike that it's his and we've fought a lot."

"Why did you lie last night and say you were getting sick from the headaches. You could have just told us the truth and said you were pregnant. But you didn't, did you?"

"Dawn, I am sorry, what more do you want me to say. I was wrong not to tell you, but I was still trying to come to terms with it myself."

"When are you due?" Dawn asked in a calmer voice. 

"October "Buffy replied, seeing her sister was excepting it she continued. " October 15th, I'm about six weeks alone." 

"So when are going shopping for baby thing?" Dawn joked and gave her sister a hug. 

"First I need to save some money and maybe even get a second job. This baby is going to need a lot and we're barely making ends meet as is."

"I can help out and get a job. I have only a few more weeks to work off what I stole from the Magic Box. Anya did said she could use the help around the shop."

"That's sweet Dawnie, but no you're not getting a job, you have school and that's enough. I'll try and find a better job that can support all of us. Now you need to get ready for school."

"Fine, but this conversation isn't over Buffy. I don't want you working so hard. You need to start taking it easy for you and for the baby." 

Dawn disappears back down the hall, going to take a shower and get ready for school. Willow and Buffy went down to the kitchen where Tara was already made lunch for Dawn. Willow makes breakfast. Buffy can only stomach a piece of toast and a glass of juice. Then Buffy went back upstairs to take a shower. As she's was about to get in the shower the phone rings, it was work and they wanted her to work a later shift. Buffy was relieved, now she could maybe get a few more hours of sleep before going in to work.

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Meanwhile, Spike had been passing the crypt all night. The last time he saw Buffy, she was had been in unbelievable pain. He wanted to go to her, wanted to make sure she was all right, to makes sure there was nothing wrong her or the baby. Ever time he tried something always stopped him. He know that it was some, if not all his fault that Buffy was in so much pain, he didn't want to cause any more, so he decided to stay and just pass. The crypt seemed to be closing in on him. The more he thought about her, the more he just wanted to run to her and make thing right again, wanting to take back ever mean thing he had said to her. He couldn't stand it anymore; he had to go see her. 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Back at the Summers' house every one had left except for Buffy, she was laying down on the couch sound a sleep, her hand resting on her stomach. Spike came flying in the back door, but she hadn't even wake up. He made his way into the living room after extinguishing the flumes from his blanket. There he saw Buffy peacefully sleeping on the couch. He slowly made his way over to her side, sitting down next to her on the floor. He watched her for a moment to make sure she wasn't going to wake up. Then he took her hand in his, "I'm so sorry, pet. I'm sorry for not trusting you, for not believing you. How could I ever doubt you? I love you and I love the baby too." He ran their intertwined hands over her stomach, "I don't care if he's Angel's or mine, but I'll be the one he calls daddy, I promise you that. I'm going to be here for you, for all of it. For every little thing, the cravings to the mood swings to first time I hold him in my arms, I'm going to be here. What ever it takes for me to get you back, I'll do it. I love you too much to let you go." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. She started to stir. Spike didn't want her to find him there. If she did, she would be mad and he wouldn't get a change to make thing right between them. He quickly placed her hand back over her stomach and ran his own hand over the baby and left. 

Buffy awoke with a cold chill. It started in her stomach then radiated through her body. Slowly it went away, she almost felt sad as the feeling lift her body, the coldness made her remember Spike. She knew it had only been a little over a day since she felt his cold but loving hands around her, but it felt like a lifetime ago. So much had changed in such a short time, how could things have gotten so messed up in only a day? Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. She looked at the clock on the wall, wondering if she had over slept and was late for work. The phone rang a couple more time before the answering machine picked you. "Buffy are you there? Well guess not. It's Cordelia, don't freak nothings wrong, I'm just calling you ….." before she could say any more Buffy picked up the phone. "Cordelia, I'm here." 

"What's wrong Buffy? You sound strange." 

"No nothings wrong, I was sleeping and ran to get the phone. That's all. What were you saying?"

"Oh, I just called to let you know that we might be coming to town a few days earlier, maybe even tonight. We're not sure yet, it all depends on how fast they wrap up some loose ends this case were working on. We'll call you when we know for sure."

"Thanks for the warning. I'll see if Willow can stay over at Tara's place for a while. Look I got to go get ready for work, but call me and let me know if you're coming tonight." 

"Talk to you later, if you're not there I'll leave a message, bye" 

Buffy hung up the phone and went to get ready for work. 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Back at the crypt Spike was finally resting after almost two days of no sleep. A sense of peace and tranquility fell over him as he sleep. He know that he loved her and that she loved him, if she didn't she wouldn't have gotten so mad at him. The rest of the stuff they could sort out later, together. 

Suddenly the door flew open and startled him awake. He could see a tall, thin silhouette in the door way, "Buffy?" 

"No Spike it's me Dawn." She snapped.

"Little Bit what are you doing here?"

"Spike let tell you something, if you can see how much Buffy loves you than you don't deserve her or your child. You have a decision to make, except the baby for what it is or leave, either way make it quick. You're kill her, stop treating her like this way." Dawn quickly turned and stormed away. Leaving Spike dazed, he didn't get a chance to tell her that he did realize the love he had for her sister could overcome any doubt he had.                             

A few minutes later Spike was in the catacombs making his way back to the Summers' home. He had to find her, he had to make thing right between them once again. When he got there she was gone, '_why didn't I just tell her this morning?'' he thought. He went to her room just to make sure she wasn't there, hoping the whole time she was sleeping and she hadn't heard him calling to her. But, his hopes were soon crushed she was gone. He walked over to her bed, their bed and sat down. For a few minutes he just sat there, remembering how amazing it was to hold her in his arms, questioning why he acted the way he did when she told him about the baby, their baby. He still couldn't believe it, Buffy was pregnant and the moment he touched her stomach, he knew. He knew that she was telling him the trust, that he was the father. __'Me- Spike, The Big Bad, William the Bloody was going to be a father, WOW!' As he started to leave, he saw a thick book on her dresser, walking over he picked it up and read the title While Your Waiting – A Complete Guide To Your Pregnancy, well at least she's been to the doctors. As he flipped threw the book, his midnight blue eyes brightened when he saw it, tucked neatly in between the pages that told about what to expect at six weeks was the ultrasound picture. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes; there in his hand was the first picture of his child, their miracle. He knew more than ever he had to find her, he had to make thing right again for them and for their child. He quickly put the book back, but slipped the picture into his pocket and left._

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

"Welcome to the Double Meat Palace, may I help you?" Buffy asked in a monotone voice with her head down; just waiting for her shift to be over. 

"Buffy, can we talk?" 

"Spike I'm working, go away!"

"Please Buffy. I need to talk to you. I'm sorry." He pleated. 

"Go away! I heard everything I needed to last night." She snapped.

 "No you didn't. Please Buffy, let me have a chance to explain. I love you!" He was now begging.

Buffy turned away from him," Sophie could you wait on this customer? I need to get something in back." And she walked a way; she didn't want him to see her cry.

Spike couldn't believe it. _'how could she do this, all I wanted to do was apologize to her, to tell her I know she was telling me the truth' _

"Spike, what's going on with you two? You know she was in a really good mood before you showed up." Spike didn't answer, turned on his heels and stormed out the door, running right into Xander. Spike still didn't say a word and push him out of his way. 

Walking in, Xander couldn't help but notice the vibes coming off of the beached blond vamp. "Is Buffy here?" he asks Sophie.

"Just a minute, I'll get her."  

A minute later Buffy appears for the back. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying. "Buffy what's going on? What did Captain Peroxide do now?"

Buffy didn't answer, so Sophie did, "Oh they just had a lover quarrel." Buffy's eyes widened, questioning how much Sophie had over heard. 

"What?" was all Xander could manage to say.

"Spike and Buffy just had a little fight, but I know that things will work out in the end and they'll be back together again. They make a cute couple, don't they?" Sophie chirped. 

Xander still couldn't fathom the idea of his best friend and the platinum blond soulless creature together. It had to be a mistake, a horrible mistake, but looking into Buffy's eyes he knew it was true. "Sophie I'm taking a break." Buffy said walking around the counter. Buffy went to the farthest corner table. There they sat, Buffy told Xander everything, everything except for the baby. She defiantly wasn't ready to explain that one to him. Besides he was having a hard enough time coming to terms her relationship with Spike. The whole baby thing would drive him around the bend!

Xander offers to take her problems away, to make Spike disappear for good. Buffy tells him to leave Spike alone, this was just a little disagreement and she could and would take of thing by herself. She made Xander promise not to say or go near  Spike, this was her problem and she was going to do it herself. Her break was over and she went back to work. "I'll come by the Magic Box after work and pick up Dawn."

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Back at the Summers' residents 

Tara and Willow arrive home from classes. They see the answering machine blinking. It was Wes, "Hello everyone, I guess things here are done and we'll be arriving in Sunnydale sometime around 10 pm. See you then." 

"Well I guess I'll be spending a few extra days at your place, if that's ok with you?" Willow asked with a huge grin on her face and Tara just smiled back. With that they went up and packed Willow's things.

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Quitting time, it was like someone had lifted a weight off of Buffy's shoulders, but she couldn't rest yet. She first had to get by Spike, who was still passing impatiently in front of the door, just far enough not to bother the customers, but still close enough to catch her as she left. Had to hand it to him, he was defiantly persistent. Instead of having to deal with him, she decide to slip out the back. As she started to walk down the alley, she was stroke from behind by a heavy blunt object. Then everything went black.

TBC…   

 NOTE: Sorry I'm leaving it hanging here, but it's getting really long. I promise I'll update it soon and wouldn't leave you hanging…..much (Wicked grin, sinister laugh.) Sorry, I'm watching 'Two to Go' and "Grave' again. I think maybe I was channeling Willow or something.        

 _  _

        


	21. Missing- Part 2

**_Summery:__  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. She finds got she's pregnant and tells Spike. His reaction isn't what she expected and defiantly not what she wanted. The wedding is drawing closer and guests will be coming to Sunnyhell soon. Spike now sees he was wrong about the baby and he tries to make it up to Buffy. He wants her and their baby back, he's waited too long, for her to love him and he isn't going to loose her.    _**

_ **Rating: R******___

**Feedback: Yes Please! I live for it. Good or bad. This is my 1st fiction.**

**Author: scarletrose at scarletr@localnet.com**

**Disclaimer:_ You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. I just like playing in their dimensions for a while –Thanks. _**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**Note:  Thanks to everyone out there for the reviews, you guys keep me writing. A special thanks to Midnight's Shadow, thanks for the help. ****__**

****

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles _**

**_Part XXI-Missing- Part 2 _**

"Where is she?" Dawn whined pacing back and forth, wanting to go home. "I mean, she was supposed to be here by now. I thought she got out at 9, it's almost 10:30, and she's still not here."

 "Maybe, she had to work late Dawnster, or maybe she had a run in with Captain Peroxide again." Xander grumbled the last part not wanting to remember the whole Spike/Buffy thing ever again. She had told him for too much for him taste. '_Should've just taken care of the problem myself, sure Buffy be mad at first but she would get over it. He's a soulless vamp, she couldn't really love him, right?' he though._

"What did you just say….the last part?" 

Xander sighed, "When I stopped by the Double Meat earlier, Spike was coming out. He wasn't in the best of moods, if you get my drift. Then when I got in Buffy was all teary eyed. She told they were fighting and she told me they were….sleeping together. How could she, Dawn? How can she even think of sleeping with that thing?"

Dawn had stopped pacing and put her hands on her hips, "Don't start Xander, if she's with Spike it's on her own free will and you're just going to have to except it. Spike and Buffy are together." She started walking the path she had wore in the floor once again; "I hope she is there. Maybe they can work through their problems. He would never hurt her or …" she almost let it slip. By what Xander had said, she hadn't told him about the baby. He was way to calm to know about the baby. 

"OR who?" Xander questioned.

She had to think quick, "Or anybody he loves." 

"Pleassssse, he's a vampire, Dawn. He doesn't know how to love!"

"YES HE Does! He loves her and she loves him. And nothing you could ever do can change that!"

Before Xander could get a chance to protest any more Willow and Tara entered the shop. Willow could fell the tension in the room, "what's going on?"

"Were just waiting for Buffy" Dawn replied, still staring at Xander, shooting daggers at him. 

"We thought she'd be her by now, we wanted to tell her that Wes called. He said they were coming in tonight, a few days a head of schedule." Tara added as she walked over to the table and sat down.   

Tara had finally gotten Dawn's attention. "Angel's coming here tonight?"

"Ya, they should be here, any time now." Willow finished.

_'Oh great' Dawn thought; __'now she's got to deal with him, on top of the fighting with Spike and the baby. Could things get any worse?' _

_  @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@_

"Ok slayer, where are you? I need to talk to you, to make you see I accept it now, that I'm the father. "Spike said looking down at the first picture of their child. " I love you little one." He whispers then tucked the picture back into his duster. He started to pace once again. A few minutes the light inside went out, '_finally' he thought, walking over, in front of the door, taking unneeded huge amounts of air into his lunges. Then the door opened, Sophie and two others walked out, but no Buffy. Spike started to worry__, 'where is she?' "Sophie, where's Buffy?" _

"She left a little after 9. She said something about picking Dawn up at the Magic Box and then she was going home. Why?"

She hadn't even gotten more than the words 9 and Magic Box out of her mouth before Spike was gone. He was running as fast as he could to find her. '_Please for the love of God be there.' He thought as he rounded the corner. Stopping just short of the door, he looked though the window he could see the whole gang but no Buffy. He started to worry more, something in his gut told him that something was wrong. He was hoping it was wrong, as he entered the shop. "Bit, is big Sis here?"_

"NO. I thought she was with you? Or she's still working?" Dawn asked more than answered. _'Ok you're not with Spike than where are you?' she started to panic. _

"No, she's not with me and she's not at work either. I was just there, waited all night to talk to her. Sophie said she left at 9 and came here for you!" Spike was rambling. They could tell by the tone of his voice that he was scared. "If she's not here, not at work and not with me, then where in bloody hell is she?"

 "Spike I'm scare, what if something has happened to her or the baby?" Dawn had forgotten that there were others in the room, she could only think about her sister and her niece or nephew at the moment. When she said it all eyes were on her and that's when she realized what she had said. Anya was standing at the counter motionless, Willow and Tara were sitting at the table in shock from Dawn's little slip, they were trying to find away to cover it up but with no reveal. There was no covering this up now! And Xander, well Xander was shocked to say the least, his mouth was moving up and down, and as if he was trying to speak but no works were coming out.

  All Spike could do was walkover to Dawn and put his arms around her. She was so scared she had started to tremble. "It's ok Bit, she's probably home getting her rest. You know she's a little tired lately." He whispered in her hair. He was hoping he was right, that Buffy had gone home first. Dawn hugged him tighter. 

"What do you mean baby?" Xander asked, finally being able to form words. 

"She means Buffy can be like a baby some times." Willow tried to cover, not a very good one but a cover. It was the only thing she could think of. 

"No, what she means is the baby. Buffy's and mine. She pregnant and now we don't know there she is." Spike didn't have time to play twenty questions with any of them. All he wanted to do was find Buffy, make sure she and the baby were all right. Then tell her how much of a jerk he has been and try to make it up to her. "Willow, you, and Tara go back to the house and check if she's been there. Xander go to the Bronze and have a look. Dawn you stay here with Anya, in case she shows up. I'll go check the crypt and the patrol routes. We'll all meet back here."   

       "I'm going with you, Spike. I can't just wait around here, waiting for her not to show up. You know as well as I do there is something wrong. She out there, somewhere and god only knows what's happened to her. I'm going and that's final!" Dawn was scared and mad at the same time.  Spike knew she wasn't backing down. She was defiantly Buffy's sister all right.

"All right, but we've gotta get going." Spike said as he turned to leave. "And Xander don't even start." He added, knowing that the whimp was about to say something. 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Slowly Opening her eyes Buffy couldn't see much, the room she was in was dimly lit. She could only make out the imaged of a few boxes. There was something in the farthest corner but her vision was still to blurry to see it . On a table to the left of her was a laptop. She could hear muffled voices in the distance. She tried to move but she couldn't, she was chained to pillar. The room was cold and damp, but familiar like she had been there before. Then, she heard footsteps coming near, "So you decided to wake up I see." Buffy tries to wiggle free and see who was talking to her. She know she had heard that voice, but couldn't make it out. The ringing in her head made it hard to concentrate. She tried to move again, but still couldn't why?

  "Now, now Slayer, Why do you want to leave this little party so soon? You know it's being thrown in your honor. You really must stay." 

"Who are you and what do you want with me? Are you too chicken to show your face?"

"No Slayer, I just like having the upper hand." 

"Warren?" Buffy mumbled as someone came from the shadows behind her. 

"You know I thought you'd put up more of a fight, you being the slayer in all."

"Warren, please let me go!" She begged.

   "Oh this is too much fun, you're actually begging. This is more than I could have hoped for." Warren laughed, with a large smirk on his face. 

"Now that we got her, what are we going to do with her?" Josh asked walking out of the darkness. 

"Lots, but I don't want to spoil all the fun surprises I have in store. Jonathan watch her for a little while, we're going out. I have a few more things I need to pick up." 

  @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Back at the Summers' home Tara and Willow didn't find Buffy, but they did find Angel and Cordy sitting in the car outside the house waiting for someone to come home. Connor was asleep in his car seat; Angel and Cordy were in the front talking. 

 "Angel have you seen Buffy tonight?" Willow asked trying to catch her breath. They had run all the way there. 

"No. Why?" 

"She's missing and we're afraid that something has happened to her."

"She can handle herself."

"No Angel, you don't understand. She was supposed to come by the Magic Box after work she didn't show up. Spike was waiting for her after work but he never saw her."

"Why was he waiting for her?" Cordy asked. 

"They had a fight and he wanted to apologize, so he was waiting for her. " Tara answered. 

"Always knew he couldn't hold her interest for very long." Angel smirked, at the thought of Spike and Buffy breaking up. 

  Cordelia smacked him in the chest, "You promised you would be nice."

"Sorry, I couldn't help it." 

"Do I have to send you back to LA or are you going to be good?" Cordelia scolded, as if he was a young school boy. 

"I'll behave Cordy, I promise." Angel gave her, his most innocent smile.  

"But, that still doesn't explain where she is?" 

"No it doesn't. We'll help Will, where do you want us to start?"

TBC…

  __


	22. Discovering the Truth

**_Summery:__  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. She finds got she's pregnant and tells Spike. His reaction isn't what she expected and defiantly not what she wanted. The wedding is drawing closer and guests will be coming to Sunnyhell soon. Spike now sees he was wrong about the baby and he tries to make it up to Buffy. He wants her and their baby back, he's waited too long, for her to love him and he isn't going to loose her. Buffy's missing and the trio has her, but what do they want with her. Will they find here in time?   _**

_ **Rating: R******___

**Feedback: Yes Please! I live for it. Good or bad. This is my 1st fiction.**

**Author: scarletrose at scarletr@localnet.com**

**Disclaimer:_ You know all the characters are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM. I just like playing in their dimensions for a while –Thanks. _**

** Distribution: Feel free to. I would be honored just let me know where it is.**

**Note:  Thanks to everyone out there for the reviews, you guys keep me writing. A special thanks to Midnight's Shadow, thanks for the help. ****__**

****

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles _**

**_Part XXII-Discovering the truth_**

****

Everyone's been looking all night for Buffy. Spike and Dawn are patrolling the cemetery for the third time tonight. They have checked every crypt and mausoleum they could find. They are unaware that Angel, Cordelia and Connor are now here in Sunnydale. Angel has joined the search of Buffy. Xander checked out the Bronze but found nothing, Willow and Tara went back to the Magic Box, after they found nothing at home and the other places they could think of. Tara and Anya tried to do a locating spell but with no success. They could try again later after Spike and Dawn returned, the spell worked best if they used blood, a blood relative's blood. Everyone was gathered back at the Magic Box except for Dawn and Spike. They were still out there searching for her. It was almost dawn and no one has seen them since they left. The gang was starting to get concerned.

"Spike it's almost light out, we need to get you home." Dawn insisted for the umpteenth time.

"Not going Bit. Not 'til I find her."

"What good are you going to do her when you're a big pile of dust, hun? At least let's go back and see if they found out anything." Dawn was hoping that they found her. "Pleeeeeeeeease !!" Dawn begged 

Spike could never resist the Summers women. "Fine, but if they didn't, I'm checking the sewers and Willie's." 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

"Jonathan, please just let me go." Buffy begged, still chained to the pillar. Now that it was almost light she could see she was in the old factory, where she had found Spike and Dru taking up residence only a few years ago. Only a few years ago it would have been Spike who would have kidnapped her and chained her here, now he was her friend, her lover and the father of her child. She wondered if she would ever see him again. She wished she had gone out the front door. Ya sure, she might have had to deal with him, but that would have been better than this. Not knowing what they had in store for her, not knowing if she would make it alive. 

"I can't" is all Jonathan said.

"Please you have to. You can stop this before it gets any worse. Just let me go and I'll tell the police it was them and not you."

"Sorry. I can't let you go. Warren…..would……I don't know what Warren would do, but it wouldn't be good."      

 "Oh please, you're the one with the Magicks. Warren can't hurt you." if the other way wasn't working maybe playing on his power would. "Besides you don't want to kill me. Do you remember back in high school, in the clock tower?" He nodded, remembering how scared and alone he was then. "You were scared then, but you did it. You faced your fears, now you have to again. I need your help Jonathan; please I don't want to die. I have too much to live for and so do you." 

"If I let you go he'll just kill me instead."

"No, let me go and I'll help you. We'll send him away, far away for good."

"Now, now Jonathan, you weren't thinking of letting her go were you?" Warren said coming next to him.

"No." 

"You're lying. You were about to let her go, weren't you?" Jonathan didn't answer. "So I take that as a yes." Jonathan gave Buffy a quick' I'm sorry' glance before putting his head down and walking way. Warren then turned his attention back to the Slayer. "I leave you alone for a few hours and when I come back you're trying to turn my men against me. You know I was saving this for later" he says, picking up a syringe  off the table. "But since I can't trust him to guard you and I can't leave you alone. I guess I'll just have to…." And he stuck the needle in her arm. Buffy could feel her body going limp, no matter how hard she trying to fight it she couldn't move. Then everything started to fade away, but she could still hear Warren's voice, "Jonathan, you have a choice either go with us and do as I say or end up like her? I don't care which you choose, just make it quick."

 @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

The first few rays of sunlight were piercing the darkness as Spike and Dawn arrived back at the Magic Box. "Finally you're here!" Willow sighed in relief. She had sent Xander to the crypt and Angel through the sewers to find them. 

"Ya we looked as long as we could. Spike didn't even want to come back now. I had to force him." Dawn replied and then she saw Cordelia and Connor sitting in a chair. "Who's that, I mean is that Connor?" She started to walk over to them. Spike's mouth dropped, _'What, hun, if they're here where's Angel?'  he had questions but couldn't say anything. _

Cordelia  was feeding Connor his morning bottle as she looked up at them, "Hi Spike." Then turned her attention to Dawn who was now in awe over him.  "Yes Dawn this is Connor. " 

"Can I…..hold him?" 

"Yes" and Cordelia handed Connor  to Dawn. As Dawn took him she install fell in love with him, just like her sister had and everyone else that had ever set eyes on him. Connor cooed and giggled in Dawns arms. 

Spike watched the interaction for a moment, remembering the first time that he and Buffy say Connor. He questioned if he would ever get to see her or his child again. "Any news?" he asked. 

"Sorry, nothing. " Anya  said. 

"We tried a location spell but it didn't work." Tara chimed in . 

"What do we know?" Spike was fishing for any thing, even the smallest clue, he was determined not to loose her again. Especially not now. 

Willow gave him the low down. "Well she's not at home, not Tara's  dorms, Xander and Anya's place, the Bronze, work, or in the 20 or so abounded warehouses in the area. We checked. Xander went to find you and them was going to check one other place."

"Where's Angel? He's here isn't he?"

"Yes he's here. We sent him in to the sewers to look for you two and Buffy. I couldn't stand him pacing any more. He was just upsetting Connor. " 

"We have one more thing that we think might work but we had to wait for you." Tara sheepishly said.

"What?"

"We can do another  locating spell this time……this time with blood……it works better with blood. Dawn's……blood. She's a blood relative." Tara was scared of what they might think.

"How much do you need?" Dawn questioned as she her attention was drawn away from the playful baby in her arms. 

"One a drop or two." 

"So, what are we waiting for? If it will find her ."

"I'll gather the stuff, we'll do it in the training room." Anya grabbed a handful of supplies and left to set it up. 

Dawn handed the baby back to Cordy and kissed him on the forehead. Starting for the door, "Wait , I'm coming with you." Spike couldn't let her do this along, they were dealing with serious magicks and he knew Buffy wouldn't approve. Spike ran up beside her and they went in back.

 Tara had drawn a circle of sand on the floor. Inside it was a map of the Sunnydale area, a bowl of crushed herbs, an orb and a long dagger. Candles were being lit on the perimeter of the room . There were six candles around the ring, unlit. 

"Almost ready." Anya said lighting  one of the candles. Dawn went and stood next to the circle awaiting  farther instructions. 

"Bit you don't have to do this." he whispered in her ear. 

"Yes I do Spike, we need to find her and fast." He nodded . 

"Dawn come inside the circle." Tara asked kneeling in front  of the orb, adjacent to Anya. "Dawn don't be scared." Tara said drawing the knife out of it shield. "only a few drops I promise." Dawn's hands were shaking, she remembered the last time she was cut with a knife , the night Buffy die because of her. This time she wasn't going to die not if she could help it. Tara took Dawn's hand and held it over the bowl. She drew the knife over the palm of Dawn's hand, "Blood to blood, sister to sister.  We ask you to find the one we seek." 

Anya held up the orb. "blood to blood, sister to sister . we ask that you show us Buffy." With that a red mist rose for the bowl floating in to the orb. This in turn started to glow and floated from Anya's hand.  All in the room watched as it hovered over the map, but nothing happened. "We command you to show us our beloved sister." Still nothing. Slowly the orb lowered and Anya  took it. "Tara what went wrong? It should've worked." 

"I don't know, we did everything right."

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

"Don't be scared Buffy." A soft and loving voice said from the fog. Buffy couldn't make out it was, but she know her, she was somehow familiar. A small woman with long auburn coming towards her, she was carrying a baby. " He love you, your love will save you. If you let it, love will save you all. If not you will all die."

"Sarah?"

"Yes Buffy, it's me." Sarah replied walking in front of her.  "I doubted  David's love for me and we all perished because of it. Don't let it happen to you. Open your heart once again to him, trust in your love for each other and your child."  

Buffy looked down at the infant. She was beautiful, her eyes were deep green almost jade in color, a small button of a nose, she looked like her mother but you could see her father's strong  features as well. She had a little hair ,it was short, baby fine, dark auburn almost brown and it curled up just a little at the ends. "Is this…." Buffy said reaching out and touching her face.

"This is Danielle. We are happy here, but we both miss David dearly . Don't let it happen Buffy, don't let anyone or  anything stand in the way of your love. You deserve to be happy, to love, to live."

"Sarah, she's beautiful. I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I tried but I couldn't."

"Shhhh…. Buffy you couldn't  have saved us, only I could do that. I didn't have trust that our love was strong enough, I failed not you. Now it's you turn, trust in your love Buffy , it will save you!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

"You only called Buffy, that's what's wrong. There's two of them now . You need to call them both."

Spike said walking towards the circle of women. They all shifted to let him enter. He took of his jacket ,laying it down on the couch, then knelt  in between Dawn and Tara. "Use my blood for the link to the baby." Tara and Anya nodded. 

They started over. First taking Dawn's hand and squeezing it until the blood dripped in the bowl once again, "Blood to blood, sister to sister. We ask you to find the one we seek."

Then she took Spike's hand and drew the knife across it drawing blood, "Blood to blood, father to child. We ask you to find the love ones lose."  

Anya held up the orb again. "Blood to blood, sister to sister. Show us. Blood to blood, father to child. We wish to find Buffy and Child." This time the room was filled with the mist , the orb glowed and floated over the circle a moment . Then a bright red light fell on to the map. Slowly it moved to the location, the old factory. 

Spike's eyes widened at the sight of the location. "I know where she is.' He said as he stood, but Tara pulled him back down. 

"Wait. Show us." She commanded. The orb lowered to their leave. The mist inside swirled, then the mist parted and they could see her. She was chained to a pillar and she looked lifeless. 

Spike's heart sank seeing her like that. "Is she….is she alright?" Spike was  almost too afraid to ask.

"She's looks to be unconscious, but she's alright. See." Anya assured the frightened vampire, pointing to the orb. "See the two glowing spots on her, they're their heartbeats. Both are steady and strong. Spike they're both fine. Buffy and the baby are fine."     

     Spike leapt to his feet, "I can't wait around here….." His word suddenly cut short as he was hurled to the ground. 

Angel was on top of his growling, game face on, "You……You …… You got her pregnant!" Spike was helpless, he was pinned under Angel. "You ungrateful little bastard, you got MY Buffy pregnant! How dare you even touch her!"

"Yes she's pregnant!  She's NOT YOURS to own! You left her, years ago! I've been the one here to pick up the pieces. To love her !  To father her child, NOT YOU !" Spike yelled, mustering enough strength to throw Angel off of him and clear across the room, smashing into the wall.

"I'm gonna rip you apart !" Angel yelled as he rushed at Spike. 

 At the first noise Willow, Xander and Cordelia had come running in, they all stood there watching in horror as the two vamps were fighting. Tara raised her hands, " Enough, separate." Both of them flow backward. "This isn't going to help. We need to find out more about who's got her and what they have planned."

"We don't have time for that! God only knows what has happen to her already, I'm not waiting around here any longer." Spike snapped back.

"Stay!" Tara commented. "You have to wait, what if it's a trap? If it is, you won't be helping her at all, you'd just get you both killed. Think for a minute Spike!"

"When I was at Willie's I got something out of him. He said something about a guy named Warren having it in for her. Could it be him?"

"Warren! I'll rip that geek's head off!" Spike raged.

"Spike! Ok, we know it's Warren and the geek trio and they have her in the old factory. Now we need a plan. Is there any back way into the factory?"

   "No. The only way in is above ground, the tunnels that lead to it collapsed a few years ago, you know the whole Gem of Amarra  thing." Spike felt guilty about the whole thing, if it wasn't for him they could have gotten to her quick. Who knew back then that he would be in love with her and need to save her and their child, who knew?

"Ok, we will have to wait until the sun goes down then. Angel did you get anything else out of Willie?"

"Not much, just that he was looking for some demon thugs, maybe a Fyarl or something else that he could control."

"Thanks." She said to Angel, then turned her attention back to Spike. "If I release the spell you have to promise to behave, No fighting!" She continued looking back and forth between the two of them.

"I promise." Spike sighed.

"Me too." Angel added.

"Release." And with that both were free to move. 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

"Ahhh, my beautiful young slayer, I see that you decided to wake up." His voice was strong, it sent a chill down her spine. 

"Who are you and how do you know me?" Buffy snapped unhappily  being woken for her dream.

"Now ,now don't be that way. I know your lover  and I know he'll be looking for you. I don't want to hurt you, not now any ways. See you, you are just bait to get him here. I want to take something away for him, what he took away from me, his child."

"No, you're not taking the baby." Buffy screamed.

TBC……..

    ****


	23. Past and Present

**_Summery:__  Buffy has said the words Spike has longed to hear. She finds got she's pregnant and tells Spike. His reaction isn't what she expected and defiantly not what she wanted. The wedding is drawing closer and guests will be coming to Sunnyhell soon. Spike now sees he was wrong about the baby and he tries to make it up to Buffy. He wants her and their baby back, he's waited too long, for her to love him and he isn't going to loose her. Buffy's missing and the trio has her, but what do they want with her. Will they find here in time?   _**

_ **Rating: R-over all rating, due to sexual content and language.**_

**Feedback: Yes Please! I live for it. Good or bad. This is my 1st fiction.**

**Author: scarletrose at scarletr@localnet.com**

**Disclaimer:_ You know the characters of BtVS and Angel are owned by 20th Century Fox, Joss Whendon and the rest of them. I DON'T OWN THEM, only Sarah and David are mine. I just like playing in their dimensions for a while. _**

** Distribution: Take at will just let me know.**

**Note: Sorry this took so long; life's been a little crazy. Thanks to everyone out there for the reviews, you guys keep me writing. A special thanks to Midnight's Shadow, you always keep me on the right track, you're the best! ****__**

****

**_Hope, Dreams and Miracles _**

**_Part XXIII-Past and Present_**

  Spike had been in the Magic Box all day. He was starting to sound like Angel with all his brooding about how he messed everything up, and he knew it. This was pissing him off even more, to sound like the Poof just wasn't acceptable. He spent hours second guessed everything he had done in the last few years, questioned if he missed something, examined the smallest things he had done, could he have said something different to make a difference. 

  He remembered the many fights they had when they were enemies, the fight in the church while restoring Dru, the whole Judge thing, the gem of Amarra. Then there was the first time. The fight in the school when Joyce hit him with the ax, telling him to get way from her daughter. He had to smile a little at that one. With that thought, his mind drifted to the many chats with Joyce over hot cocoa. His heart almost broke when he realize she would never get to see her grandchild. Joyce would have loved to see this, Buffy and Spike as parents. Who would have imagined?

   He remembered the many times he had left but was somehow he was somehow drawn back to Sunnydale. The first time when Dru left him he came back to kidnap Willow, ended up with Willow and Xander both, then finally had to fight on the same side as Angel and Buffy. His own word came back to him *Love's a funny thing* ~ ain't that true he thought. Then there was the time when he and Buffy almost got married, granted, it was because of Willow's spell, but still it was great. He had always wondered what would have happened if that spell hadn't been broken. Would they have gotten married? He could remember every single moment that he spent with her. Everywhere he turned something always reminded him of her.  

 Finally Spike couldn't take it anymore being cooped up in here was just too much. He stormed out of the training room and headed for the basement. He hadn't gotten very far before Willow stopped him. " Where do you think you're going?" Her voice was firm and she had her 'resolve face' on. 

"Sod off. " Spike growled angrily. To tell the truth he wasn't mad at her, he was mad at the whole situation, she was just the one in his way. 

"Spike!" Dawn protested, "Where are you going?" 

He took deep breath to calm himself. "I'm going to try the tunnels I can't just sit around waiting 'til dark."

"No! You're not going Spike! You already said it was blocked, you can't make it to…her that way. "Dawn replied, she choked as the thought of Warren having her sister. 

"Dawnie's right Spike, you can't do it all by yourself. If you insist on trying it take Angel with you." Willow wasn't asking, it was a command and Spike knew it. She might not be using her powers anymore but it was still there, maybe not quite as strong, still more powerful then he wanted to mess with. He gave in not wanting to fight a pissy-off powerful Wicca. "Fine." He mumbled.  

"What? I'm not going anywhere with him!" Angel said, pointing to Spike.

Willow quickly turned her attention to the table where Angel was sitting, "YES. YOU. ARE." She growled at him, punctuating every word. Her power could be felt from across the room and he even thought he saw her eyes flash black for a moment.  

"Fine." Angel had been told how strong Willow had become before she quit cold turkey. *If this is Will without magic, I don't want to see her with it.* he thought. *Defiantly not the Willow I knew back in high school.* Besides he had convinced himself if this thing with Spike makes Buffy happy, he'd respect it for now. And he was going just as crazy himself being 'trapped' in the Magic Box. 

Xander had been drawn into the conversation with Will's last little outburst. He was behind the counter with Anya deciding seating arrangements, for the millionth time. "I think I should go with them." All eyes were on him,"What? I just don't want to explain two dusted vamps to her, that's all!"   

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

There was an uncomfortable silence between the guys as they approached the collapsed section of the tunnel. It had been that way since they left the shop. Finally Xander couldn't take it any more, "So far so good." 

"Yeah mate, that's because the collapsed section is up there." Pointing to the wall of rubble completely blocking their path. The factory wasn't far. Xander's face dropped when he saw what Spike was pointing to. Without another word, the three of them walked to the wall of rock and debris that stood between them and Buffy. Then they started digging through it. 

They had been making quick work of it. Within a half an hour they could start to see little holes in it and the section was becoming more unstable with each piece  they removed. Spike saw the pile shift as Angel picked up a large chunk, before he could do anything the pile shifted to the right, pinning Xander's leg and arm under a large bolder. 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

The last hour dragged on forever, there was an uneasy feeling in the shop. The otherwise large storefront seemed to close in around them. As the seconds ticked slowly by, each one of them became more impatient. Tara, Willow, and Cordy tried their best to concentrate on figuring out the rest of the two prophecies. Dawn tried to help but she couldn't sit still and had started to pace the store. Anya had waited on a few customers, but mostly she counted her money. It was comforting, normal, to her and that's what she needed right now. She couldn't bear to think of Xander in danger. 

The silence was killing Dawn. You could hear the beating wings of fly in here, and it was driving her nuts. She couldn't take it any longer, "Have you found anything?"

Tara looked up from her book, "No, I'm sorry Dawnie." Dawn let out a long sigh. "Sweetie I know this has to be hard on you, but there's nothing more we can do."

"There's gotta be something we can do. I mean, I can't just sit around and wait for something to happen?" 

"What more can we do?" Cordy asked.

"We can go to the factory and see how bad it is? If it's too bad, I'll go into the tunnels and warn the guys." Well, she had a point. No one wanted to just sit around waiting to see if the guys could make it to the factory that way. And if they did get there who knows what Warren and the rest of the geek trio had in store for them?

"I think she's right." Anya sheepishly said from behind the counter. "Maybe we should try to help? It's not much, but Dawn's plan could maybe help a little."

After a few more minutes of discussing it farther, they made a quick plan and were grabbing any thing they felt they needed. They headed out the door of the Magic Box. Cordy would drive Angel's car with Connor and Dawn. Anya would take Xander's with Willow and Tara.  

 @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

The shifting of rocks left a hole large enough for them to crawl through. The rubble shifted on to Xander, leaving him trapped. Spike started to quickly dig him out. Spike and Xander might not have been the best of friends but he couldn't just leave the annoying wanker there. Xander saw the opening, "Why are you helping?'

"'Cause I can't just leave you here. A certain ex- demon, Bride-to- be would kill me. Remember, "if anything ruins my wedding they'll be hell to pay!' "Spike reminded him in his best Anya voice. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right. The bride would give you hell. "

"Bloody right" Spike mumbled, pulling him free, "What hurts Harris?"

"Just my arm. I'm fine. Go on, I'll catch up with you!" Spike hesitates for a moment, then nodded. 

Angel and Spike wiggle their way though the opening, leaving Xander standing there, holding his arm, which really hurt like a son-of- bitch. They made their way down the tunnel a few more feet. "You got a plan?" Angel asked Spike.

"Don't die." Spike mumbles back. He hadn't thought far in advance, the only thing he was thinking about when the left the Magic Box was he needed to find her.

"Great plan, Spike, really great plan." The older vamp mocked.

"Well, it works for me." Spike protested, climbing the ladder that led to the factory. 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Buffy was still chained to the pillar. She had been beaten, her face was slightly swollen and she had a bruise on her left cheek. Holts circled her as if he were lion stalking its prey, "Nothing you do will save him. The child and his father will die; he must pay for what he has done!"

"Please don't. I love them. After the baby is born you can take me in their place. I know he will be a good father and raise her."

"After who's born?" he questioned.

"After our child is born in October, then you can come and take ..." She couldn't finish the sentence, she didn't want to think about it. She knew a slayer's life span wasn't very long and she had had longer than most, but she couldn't bear the thought of having to leave her friends and family again. She didn't even want to think about leaving her child and Spike. It wasn't fair; she had just found true happiness in her life. She was going to have a family with the man she loved and this bastard was going to take it all way. 

"Ahhh…. So I see Angelus has been busy."

 Buffy's eyes grew large as she realized who he was talking about, "You're Holts." She hissed.

"Yes Slayer, I'm very disappointed in you. You should know better than to play with fire like you do. Someone always gets burned and this time, you will all burn." He stopped in front of her, "I think this is all too fitting. You see, Angelus took my wife and two children away from me and now I'm going to take them away from him as he watches. I was just going to take his son." Holts steps in closer and puts his hand on her stomach, "But with this little development, he's really going to pay!"

Buffy tried to pull away from him but couldn't, "This is NOT Angel's child! It's Spikes! Why can't any one believe me?" She yelled at him.

Holts was shocked, "It's his grandchild?" he question still trying to figure it all out. "Is everybody in that bloodline able to have children?" he said sarcastically, as the fact that the baby isn't Angel's, set in.  

"Get the bloody hell away from her!" Spike snapped as he charged at Holts and sent him flying. Spike was shocked when the chip didn't go off. Angel had gone to Buffy's aid, but didn't make it. Two Farrell demons had stopped him. In all the commotion, Warren was free to turn his attention to Buffy. He grabbed the knife from the table and went after her, holding it at her throat. 

Buffy wiggled her arm out just enough to knock it out of Warren's hand. He got mad and struck her across the face and yelled, "Go to hell Bitch!"  

Spike heard it and turned his head to see what happened. When Spike turned, Holts shoves him off and runs out the door. Spike was more interested with what was going on with Warren and Buffy then in giving chase after Holts.

   Angel saw and heard the whole thing, but still couldn't get to her. He had his hands full. Finally, after a few minutes, he got the upper hand. Farrell's might be big, but they were also not very smart. As one of them charges, he ducked, sending him flying into the second one and both into the wall with enough force to knock them out.

Spike jumped to his feet and went after Buffy. Warren moved behind her, putting his hand on either side of her face, "Stop right there Spike. If you come any closer, I'll snap the bitch's neck.

Spike stopped a few feet away from her, "Sorry."

"Be sorry later, just get us out of here alive." From behind, Angel struck Warren, rendering him unconscious. 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

A little while later at the hospital, Buffy was comfortable and resting. Spike was sitting on the bed next to her, just holding her hand. 

The gang had already been in to check on her and had now gone home. He had told them all that Buffy and the baby were fine, but they would run a few more tests in the morning, just to make sure they were alright. Then if all was well, she could go home. As he sat beside her, exhaustion finally overcame him and he slides up next to Buffy and falls asleep. 

_"So I see you finally found yourself a mate, 'mate." David joked, walking towards him._

_"Very funny, ha-ha. What are you doing here?" Spiked questioned. David was one of the few vampires he had really become friends with in his unlife.  _

_"Is that any way to treat an old friend?"_

_"No, but really what ARE you doing here? " Spike was puzzled with the whole thing, David was dead, and he had seen him die years ago at the hand of the master. So why was he here? How was he here?      _

_"I just came to make sure you two don't screw this up."_

_"Screw what up?" Spike questioned, still not sure what of what was going on._

_"This!" David replies, points back to the sleeping slayer. "The PTB have given the world a second chance." Now Spike is really confused and it showed on his face. "You guys- you're the only ones who can save the world. The baby she's carrying will bring peace and save the world someday, when the time comes. Buffy won't be able to do this without you. If you don't support her, they will both die. Spike, no matter what happens, trust in your love for her and your child. She is the true chosen one!" With David's final word he disappeared and Spike was startled awake._

_ Buffy was awake and smiling at him. Spike reached over and gently stroked her face, "I'm sorry." they utter in unison._

"For what?" they say again.

Buffy giggles. "You have nothing to be sorry for, luv. I'm the one who's been a stupid git." He tells her. "I'm sorry for not believing in you , for accusing you….accusing you of sleeping with someone else." Spike leans in and kisses her. "Buffy I'm sorry for all those mean things I said about the baby…." He tells her, moving his hand to rest onto her stomach. "Our baby." He whispers brushing his lips over hers and kissing her passionately. Buffy whispers "I love you" in between kisses. He pulled her back and looks at her, "Buffy I love you. both of you, forever."

_      TBC………….._

****


End file.
